At this point in the game, it’s not uncommon for me to get the question, “So, what are you doing when you get home?” If I’m being honest, I am not a fan of that question. On the inside, I’ve just melted into a puddle of uncertainty like the wicked witch of the west melts on the Wizard of Oz.
I never even know where to start with this question because the truth is this; I have absolutely no idea what is to come. What I do know is that I have a season at home. And when I get home, I will go from there. I’m trying to avoid getting ahead of myself. I’m a planner at heart so it takes everything in me to come home and not have a job lined up with everything set up for the next year. I’ve decided to let go and let God! Cliché, but true.
Aside for the answer most people are searching for (career choice), I have a lot more to seek from the Lord. I’m not about to sell myself short by being the leader of my life. If I am to be molded into a child of God, I give the job of master Sculptor to the Lord, not myself.
What I don’t want is this; to come home and lose all that I’ve become over the past 11 months. I’m not the same person. I have bigger dreams and a bigger faith to see them pass. I am not lost. In fact, I’m far from. I will keep running full force towards the heart of the Lord and even with no direction; I know I’m headed the right way.
What’s next is the same as what I strive for now, putting God first. That doesn’t change according to my environment or circumstance. It is a constant. I want to serve, not be served. I want to love more than what is humanly possible because I pull from God’s bank of infinite love and grace. I want to disciple and be discipled. I want to gear my gifts to glorify the Lord in all ways. I want to step out of my comfort zone because it’s there that I’ve found God show up in the craziest of ways.
Coming home is not going to be an easy transition but it is going to be a transition that produces growth accompanied by steadfast love from the Sustainer himself. That, now that I can handle.
What should you expect? Well, I can’t be sure but I can tell you that having lived this life for nearly a year, I’m gonna miss it a whole lot. I’m gonna talk about it as if it is still my current living situation, even though it is not. I will maybe get upset because I miss silly things that make no sense. But be scared of upsetting me. Please, PLEASE ask me all about it. I don’t want this to be a memory that fades. I want this to be a season the sparks a movement in my heart that never becomes stagnant. I could try to write something more profound and detailed in this but I’ll save time and say you can just go check out some of my squad’s blogs.
http://kathleenforrest.theworldrace.org/post/sincerely-your-wayward-son-or-daughter
http://katywade.theworldrace.org/post/a-fear-of-the-thing-itself-in-month-10
Well, with that being said…I’ll be home at the end of July! I’d be happy to chat with people starting at the beginning of August. Please pray that we finish as strong as we started. Pray for the transition home and back into American culture without falling prey to the pressures of society. Pray for the transition into a new church home closer to my mom’s house. Pray for jobs and volunteer/ministry opportunities to come my way. Pray for the friendships I’ve made to not come to an end but instead continue to flourish in Christ. Pray that through it all, I fix my gaze on Jesus above all things.
