If I’m being real, this is my 5th time to re-write this here blog! I just have no idea how to make my experience come to life through words, the struggle is just too stinkin’ real. So, here’s a video that captures some of the bigger things from Training Camp.
World Race Training Camp with X-Squad! from Brittany Panus on Vimeo.
Man, that GoPro was just way too much fun. I’m excited to share my memories with you throughout the next 11 months via video!
Down to business.
First and foremost; THANK YOU TO ALL OF MY SUPPORTERS! I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for your constant prayers, encouragement and financial support. You the real MVP.
Moving on…
I walked into camp super excited (like imagine a 5-year old finding out they get to live in the princess castle in Disney or something). But I was also terrified (imagine moving to a new school, halfway through the year, knowing nobody). Mixed emotions will cover it I guess!
We all have that something that we hold close to ourselves and never want to share. That something is goin to the grave with us! Well let me tell ya something, I am no stranger to that. It’s easy (well, easier-I think) to talk about something that is all said and done. It’s pretty hard to talk about something you’re still dealing with and walking through. Sometimes I just want to ask God, why is this not going away?
I learned something at camp and the week that followed. God’s desire for an intimate relationship with His beloved child is real. When I’m feeling alone, I know I’ve always got God. But what does it look like to utilize the community of brothers and sisters that I’ve been given? What does it look like to bring some things out of the dark and into the light? Now, imagine going through a maze with a blindfold and a man with a chainsaw running after you. This pretty accurately describes my fear of sharing personal things with others.
Well, God brought me out of my comfort zone at camp. And I mean more than just bucket showers, port-a-potties and sleeping in a tent. God stretched me in ways I was closed off to up until then. I shared my life, even current struggles, with people on my squad. My squad quickly became family at camp and their love and support is so encouraging. They really helped me to grow in the area of vulnerability over those 10 days.
This past week following training I learned even more. Through many sources, God was really showing me how He desperately wants a relationship, not a business contract. He wants to use us, through our suffering. I sit here and pray that God just takes away any struggle I have. At the end of last night’s church service, a lady came up and shared part of her story. She is battling stage 4 terminal cancer, and continues to get bad news. She shared how she’d do it all over again because she feels blessed that God is using her! Talk about an ugly cry. Luckily for me (and everyone in close proximity) the lights were low…no one deserves to witness that. The last thing she said is what stuck with me the most; she challenged us to quit wishing away suffering and pain, quit asking God to just fix it and to let God shine through the suffering. Wow, I didn’t think that ugly cry could get worse…but it sure did. She’s dying and her outlook on life is so full and bright! She is in constant gratitude for such a good God. Why? She said in the grand scheme of things, she won’t remember the 40 years she lost on earth when she’s given a healthy body for eternity with her Creator.
So, I am where I am and I’m thankful because I have a good God to do this journey with!
“…we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” -Romans 5:3-5
“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” -Romans 8:18
UPDATE: I’m humbled by the generosity of my donors. I have only $367 until I am fully funded and have my malaria meds paid for! Praise God! It’s not too late to give towards this. You can still donate online through August 18th by hitting the “Support Me” tab or cash/check until August 7th. Let me know if there is any way I can assist you!
PRAYER REQUEST: My fellow squamates and lovely team is still fundraising. We have all become family already and I want everyone at launch and on the field for the full 11 months. Join me in praying for all of their fundraising endeavors!
We got our teams too! Pray for my team; the Flood Sisters.
Much love,
Brittany
