Can I really do this? Am I cut out for this lifestyle for 11 months? God give me strength or just go ahead and cut the ties now, please.
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Today is day 22 and I can honestly say, this is getting really hard. Let me make this loud and clear; I love my team and I love doing life and ministry with them. It reminds me of the cliché breaking up line, “It’s not you, it’s me.”
Have you ever had one of those moments where you just start questioning everything? I had one of those moments recently. I was sitting outside in the hammock in my sleeping bag weeping and wondering if I had made the right decision for my life this next year. While I love the ministry and the girls that have quickly become my family, there are still some days that are harder than others.
In that moment, I quickly learned something; I’m running. I feel as though I’m running away from something that appears at the surface to be too hard. However, the more I run, the more I’m pushed into the uncertainty that this life is and the closer I become to my Creator. This whole time I’ve been running, but straight into the arms of my perfect Father. I know one thing for sure; God doesn’t abandon or orphan his beloved children. He is always with them and makes ways for them to realize that. I’m so thankful for my teammates because they have showed me so much love and grace through it all. I’m so fortunate to have a family of women that is so close. We have had some things to work through and remain a tight-knit team. They are such a joy to be around and are full of wisdom. I love these gals down to the core.
We have been so busy lately and I’m praying everyday for the strength to make it through the day with endurance and positivity. And, everyday the Lord has provided that and more. I have really enjoyed teaching English at the local public school and spending one on one time with my teammates. Life remains to feel too good to be true here in Costa Rica!
“…fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” –Isaiah 41:10
Here are some pictures of the past few weeks and a video of me zip lining through the Costa Rican rainforest on our day off!
Bryan makes the best chocolate gravy and biscuits! I didn’t even know that was a thing, but it is and it’s wonderful.
After church selfie! (Kelly’s neck though!)
A beautiful church we visited after going to a basketball game.
The inside of the school we taught at while the kids are in class.
Maybe we don’t understand what she’s asking us…but maybe it doesn’t matter because she’s so stinkin’ cute!
Occasionally you meet a student that is way cooler than you. This girl is no exception.
These two little girls were seriously stoked to learn English!
This is one of our groups. They loved talking about all the colors they knew in English. Oh and in case this question crossed your mind, this is a public school. The kids wear uniforms in public schools. The littler ones wear this light blue color.
Our group outside of the school.
Zip Lining in Costa Rica from Brittany Panus on Vimeo.
UPDATE: In one week we will be starting our second travel day. We are headed to Nicaragua for our second month of ministry as entire squad. This means all of the teams will come together and stay/work in the same place. This is roughly 50 people. This is also when we will have our first debrief with squad leaders, mentors and coaches. I’m super excited to be reunited with the rest of x-squad!
We got our ministry assignment for Honduras too! We will be working with another team on our squad and it seems like month 3 has a lot of great things for us.
PRAYER REQUESTS: Travel day. It has the potential to be stressful moving a bunch of people to a new place but please pray that God has his hand in all of our traveling endeavors. Our concert is Saturday; please pray for no rain. We will be doing some construction the next few days, pray for safety and fun! I will get my turn in prison ministry next Tuesday. I’m so pumped! Please pray that God works in and through me in this experience. Above all else, please pray that people see the presence of God in my team. May our words speak life and our actions demonstrate a powerful love that could only come from the Lord.
Another thank you to my wonderful supporters who have financially and prayerfully lifted me up. Some of the emails and messages I’ve gotten have been so amazing and I truly am blessed to have amazing people in my life here and back in the states.
