Satan hurts us by knowing our weaknesses. He knows when God is prepared to use us for serving the Kingdom through ministry, our testimony, and our willingness to share the unconditional love of Jesus Christ. In the moments of these vicious atracks we often experience doubts, anger, struggles, and thoughts that life is falling apart around us.
I never put much consideration into becoming a missionary. I had my own plans with a view of how success happens in the “real” world. Countless times I have seen my plans and the hopes that family had for me fall apart in the blink of an eye. I wanted to serve God, and surrender my plans to Him. Yet I was afraid that I would lose my control. I would lose my well thought out dreams for my future. Satan knew that was one of my many weaknesses. He placed doubts in my head. I did not care about my relationship with God the way I wanted to.
2 Timothy 3:5 says, “having form of godliness but denying it’s power. Have nothing to do with such people.” I had become one of those people. I grew up in a Christian home, did not do terrible things, but I was still pretending that I had to have it all together. I denied God’s power. I was not fully surrendered to His Will. Instead I was irritated, angry, and lukewarm.
This is what disobeying God looks like. It is a miserable place to be. It is not in the center of His will. I love the Lord, but I was not allowing Him to lead me through the lessons to the blessings He had prepared for me. I did not fully believe or trust in Him to do what He promised.
Through losses of loved one and trials at the workplace I had learned to trust God a little more, but I still struggled with taking control. I tried to always have a plan B just in case. He revealed to me that is not full trust and surrender to Him. I have to take my hands off of the plans, stop trying to control, and let God do the work. I have to leave my will behind to follow Jesus.
Over fundraising and soul preparation for eleven months on the World Race, Satan is going to attempt to make my life difficult. I will make mistakes along the way. It won’t be easy, but God promises to teach me to become more like Jesus. It seems absolutely crazy and unrealistic to leave it all behind, and allow God to work in and through me. I am trusting someone I cannot see to lead me into eleven countries. I am leaving a world that I am comfortable in to serve in countries that do not always have clean water, proper bathrooms, electricity, and have been known to kill Christians for converting their people.
I will not be going alone. Not only will I have my team and the prayers from supporters like you, but I will have the power of God through the Holy Spirit protecting, providing, and projecting the love of Christ in and through me. I will be changed. He has called us Christians to be different than the people who rely on worldly successes. Romans 12:2 states, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is-his good, pleasing, and perfect will. Humble service in the Body of Christ.”
I am not perfect at surrendering my plans yet, but I am trying. I accept that this is God’s perfect will, and I am going to follow wherever He leads me. Partial commitment is not genuine commitment. No more plan Bs. I am all in, whatever He calls me to do I will do.
“Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.” -Corrie Ten Boom
