Eleven months without the comforts of home or the people I love. I found myself trying to make up for time that I would miss with everyone. In the midst of trying to hold on to everything that I knew God was calling me away from, my flesh screamed out, “I just want to be the one who is pursued for once!”
There it was. I said it out loud. I wanted people to understand the value of time, which was quickly slipping away right before me. The panic that had been growing inside me for the past three months had finally surfaced.
And then it happened. A still small voice spoke … “you are pursued by me.”
Anger rushed through me. But not a burning anger towards God. This anger was directed to the place in my mind that, in a moment of selfishness, had drifted away from the one person in my life that would always have time for me.
Jesus.
The maker of the universe, my Savior, my love, my bridegroom … Jesus. The one who longs to lavish in my company. My company! How many times have I missed Him calling out to me during moments of self-centeredness? How many times has He been willing and waiting to go even deeper into our ever-growing relationship? I’ve tasted of the goodness of my God and here I was longing to be sought by the company of others. In that moment, I was quickly reminded that the gratification I was seeking from others could only be found in Him. The only time that I needed to be apprehensive about was the most significant time in communion with Him. The only assurance I had to rely on was in the knowledge that the more I pursue Him, the more I will be fulfilled and made whole. All the while being equally, if not more, pursued by my maker.
There may be times in your life that you feel you’ve missed the mark. Maybe, in times of desperation, you’ve cried out longing for your company to be wanted by others. It’s during these seasons in our life that God may be drawing us into a more intimate relationship with Him and away from others that we may have unintentionally been putting before Him.
Take this time and go after Christ. Don’t just walk but run and jump head first into a love that could never be fulfilled by mere humans. Our Father is waiting for us, pursuing us. He has an open door policy, no matter the time. Do you have the same for Him?
