You may be ridiculously confused about the title of this blog. Let me backtrack and explain. Let me also thank you ahead of time for pressing through this very long story.
I love to run. God meets me when I am running. Literally, this is my “quiet place”. There is not a time in any recent memory when God and I did not do some serious communicating while I am running.
I am a go-getter. I always have about 13,345,011 ½ things going on, and frankly that’s the way I like it. With so many distractions, it’s hard to push those aside and really spend quality time with Jesus. Even if I am sitting, trying to have purposeful devoted time with Jesus, my mind is thinking of the next hundred things I want to cross off my
to-do list by the end of the day. Lame, I know.
But when I run, my mind is clear and open. I always run with headphones, but rarely actually am listening to the music because I am deep in conversation with God. For some reason, this is just where we meet.
So as you can imagine, if I am not able to run for a period of time, I get cranky and am just itching to get out there. Though I try to run every day, recently I went a few days without. I would blame it on being really sore from spending sometimes 11 straight hours waitressing, or the sun going down super early so it’s dangerous, or the rainy and cold weather. Regardless, I had a plethora of excuses and running had not been happening. I was
getting cranky.
So the other night, though I was tired from waitressing and closing the restaurant, which also meant I was getting home at 11:30 pm, I was determined to run. I didn’t need to set any new records for distance or speed; just a shorter run would do, so long as I could get out there for a bit.
I began my late night run with literally zero expectations. I was allowing Rascal Flatts to serenade me as I enjoyed this very quiet run. Pretty much right off the bat that changed.
The Holy Spirit, which is the part of the trinity that reveals Jesus and lives inside us, began revealing how my current run was really similar to my run/walk with Christ.
It was pitch black out, super cloudy with almost no moon, which = sliiiightly creepy. So I had to trust. It has been raining and leaves have been falling like no one’s business, this is usually a slippery and not fun combination. I was so busy focusing on not slipping on the leaves, I wasn’t paying much attention to what was going on around me. I looked up and all the sudden saw a large man coming at me! Kidding, it was trash night so there was a bunch of cans out, but my first thought was the worst and assumed that there was a rapist or ax murder type coming after me.
Now, if I was enjoying my run and not paying so much attention to leaves, I would have realized what I was running towards long before I came to it and wouldn’t have been scared. I kept hearing ‘trust, just trust Me’. So I decided that for the rest of my run I wouldn’t pay attention to what I was running on, I would just trust and run. Common sense would say "protect yourself, keep looking down and around and beware, be scared!" Jesus said "Look at Me, focus on Me and run after Me and don't look from side to side. Trust Me- keep your eyes steady on Me and you will have nothing to be scared about."
I know for a fact that I was getting some seriously confused looks behind dark car windows as people drove by. I’m sure a few “What is that girl doing, it’s midnight!” were directed my way, but you could say it right to my face and I would keep running. I was loving life and I was going to stop at nothing! Hopefully on the flip side of that there were a few, “man I need to get out there and run”s also directed my way. Most people don’t run at midnight, most are safe and comfortable in their home or car and wouldn’t think twice about interrupting that with an uncomfortable and challenging run. Why would anyone? It’s easier not to.
I couldn’t help but compare that all to my Christian walk. I’m sure many people look at me and think, “What is that girl doing, is she crazy? Living a normal American life is easy, why challenge that and live out of a backpack for a year in third world countries?” Hopefully on the flip side of that some people see me running after Christ and think “I can do that, I’ve seen the person she was before and who she is now. If it’s possible for her, it’s possible for me.” I’m not a perfect example; I could list off a bunch of names of individuals who could show you a much better example than I. But sometimes all it takes is that you are out there, running with everything you have, being an imperfect example, but one who is at least giving everything to pursuing it.
Before my run I had a bite of cheesecake from work, but decided to stop at 1 bite knowing I was going on a run and it may end up making an unpleasant appearance again if I ate more. During my run I was regretting even the one bite, it was not sitting well. At the end of my run the rest of the cheesecake was still in the fridge, begging me to enjoy its creamy goodness. But something had happened, I didn’t want it anymore. You could have dumped strawberries and sprinkles and all sorts of goodness all over, topped it off with a candle and I still would have said no. Instead, I was craving some protein powder and water, something nourishing and fulfilling. The good stuff.
As you run after Christ, He changes your desires. Your desire for “cheesecake” and other things that seem good, but in all reality are really bad for you, change. You begin to desire things necessary for strength and growth; something much more than a temporary good taste in your mouth, something that lasts longer and nourishes and energizes your body. The good stuff.
Ok I promise I’m almost done.
At the end of my run I knew I was coming to a hill. I suck at hills. I run with my older brother sometimes and I will beat him almost every single time, unless we are doing hills. I hate them. So normally when I come to a hill I tuck my body in (smaller center of gravity should make it easier or something like that), shorten my stride, and push to the top. But tonight I was so lost in conversation with God; I didn’t even realize I was on the hill until I was halfway up it!
Hills in life happen, and yeah they suck most of the time. Records are set on flat surfaces, the best times the best distances, all that- they aren’t set on hilly courses. You run better on flat courses. Ask any runner though and they will tell you- hills are an important part of training. Without hills, you won’t be anywhere near the athlete you are with them. See, these hills, while they suck, work your body, you have to put everything you have into them just to get over them sometimes, but in the end that conditioning, that pushing through, it improves your muscles and you become stronger.
In life you are going to run into hills, and you know what- they may just suck. Sometimes you have to just tuck yourself in and brace against the climb. It may take everything out of you just to get over the hills and it may take time afterwards to get back to the speed you were going prior. I’ve had seasons of my life that were hilly and I couldn’t wait to be done with them, I was weak and tired and needed some time to recoup. But I would be anywhere near where I am in my walk with Christ if I didn’t push through those sucky, hilly seasons.
Same thing can be said about some flat, seemingly easier parts of our run. Sometimes we focus so much on the run and how much it hurts, we forget to enjoy it. At a couple points the other night I was so lost in my conversation with God I forgot I was running. As soon as I started thinking about it though and thinking about how my hip hurt and “it’s starting to rain again” and “it sure is dark”, the run was harder. Sometimes we just have to lose ourselves in Christ and let Him take us through pieces of our run and not focus so hard on the present pain that we make it harder and less enjoyable.
At the finish of my run I wanted more. Can’t I add a few miles? Pleeease?
This is how I want to end life, hair messed up, out of breath, but wanting more of Jesus, never having just barely enough. My prayer for myself and you included is that my (and your) present and future days walking with Christ would be more fervent and passionate than our former. That as we continue in our walk with Him, our desire wouldn’t be satisfied, but would instead grow. And we get to the end of our “run” and want nothing more than to spend eternity with Christ.
