Costa Rica is beautiful and I am enjoying the work I’m doing, but I keep thinking is all of this really worth it? I already miss home and I’ve only been gone a week.
Last night I had a dream and it was crazy! In the dream I had a baby, me with a baby is ludicrous. I feel so overwhelmed with my life as a new mother. My friends throw me a baby shower but no one that knows me shows up, everyone that is there is a random selection of people from my past. I felt like no one cared. After the shower my mom starts to go someplace and I ask her where she is going. She politely informs me that I have a baby and that he is my responsibility now, not going out with her. A few minutes later I get a call from my cousin asking me if I want to go get ice cream at Jeni’s (my favorite ice cream place) and I am quickly reminded again that I cannot go out because I have to take care of the baby and Jeni’s is an unnecessary expense. I start to get upset because I can’t do the things I wanted. Then I looked at the baby and my love for him was so overwhelming it was worth giving up everything that I wanted for him. At that point I wake up and the dream is over. I hurry and scribble down the dream and then sit there for a minute and I hear telling me to read Mark 16. So I read it and it’s when the women are going to the tomb and Jesus’ body is gone. As God continues to speak to me he is explaining that sometimes we have to give up things that we really want now in order to have something even better. How hard it had to be for God to give up his only son! But he did that so that you and I could have life! This year is going to be a challenge for me but I KNOW in my heart that this is what I need to be doing.
