Fundraising.
Three months ago, if you were to ask me what that word means, I would have responded with a somewhat textbook answer saying:
“The process of raising a certain amount of money for a particular event.”
In my case, it would be trying to raise over $16,000 so that I can travel to 11 different countries to be God’s hands and feet.
SIXTEEN-THOUSAND-DOLLARS. And that doesn’t even include the gear I need. The shots I have to get. The replacement passport I have to apply for (leave it up to me to lose mine). The plane ticket to training camp, the plane ticket to launch and the plane ticket back to Salt Lake once we return to the states.
That number seems to get bigger and bigger and bigger. Have I gotten over whelmed? Absolutely. Have I doubted my capability? More than anything. Have I taken a step back and asked myself what the heck I’m getting myself into? Everyday.
However… at the end of each day God reminds me that he’s bigger than any number I can think up. He reminds me that I can place every anxiety and doubt that I have on Him. And most importantly He reminds me that I absolutely AM INcapable of this whole thing, WITHOUT Him. But WITH Him… wow! It becomes a whole new ball game. When I begin to realize that He has this whole entire thing already taken care of and that He has already paved my path for this journey… this is when my perspective changes. And this is where I begin to learn the things He wants to teach me. Here is a couple things I’m learning:
1. Fundraising isn’t about ME raising money to go on this journey. That’s only a disguise for God’s greater plans. You see, He already has a way for the funds to get raised. It is already taken care of. So why do we as worldracers go through the fundraising process?? Because the second we applied for the Worldrace, we gave God the okay to use us. And that’s exactly what He’s doing. We fundraise because while we’re thinking we are merely raising money, God is working to build our relationships with each other. The question I was asking before is “what fundraisers can I do to help myself raise the funds I need?” But now I realize that the real question is “How can I use this time of fundraising to help my community? How can I expose friends, family and strangers in a way that benefits THEM?” God has given me a huge gift. He has given me the ability to open doors for people during this time. I’m still trying to figure how to do this. It’s like getting a new toy on Christmas, its the coolest thing you’ve ever seen and you KNOW it does something AWESOME, but you haven’t quite figured out the ins and outs, how to make it do the SUPER cool tricks. I believe it’s trial and error. And I’ve definitely got the error part mastered! 😉
2. God is teaching me a lot about trust. Honestly, I thought I was a pretty trusting person. If I got a dollar every time my friends yelled at me for leaving my car or house door unlocked… well… I’d probably be fully funded right now 😉 But, it turns out, I have some major trust issues!! I’m trusting when it’s up to me. When the situation looks a way that I’m comfortable with. But if I’m uncomfortable, forget about it! Ask my mom, she’ll be the first to attest to this! She’s actually a prime resource God has been using to teach me about trust. Sometimes me and her see things differently, and its weird cause she is so confident about how the situation should be handled, and I’m so confident in how the situation should be handled…yet they are two completely different ways. So why do I think that MY way is the ONLY and RIGHT way to handle it? Because that’s what I’m comfortable with. Truth is, her way works too. Her way is probably even better 99.9 percent of the time… but then my trust issues get in the way, and my mom being the loving, selfless, person she is… puts her wants and desires aside and in the end we go with my way. During the moment I come out saying “see mom, that worked great!” But what if we would have went with her way? How much GREATER could of it been?? Probably a hundred times greater! But I let my pride and my need for being comfortable get in the way. And as much as I hate to admit it, this is an exact reflection of my relationship with God. I have the mindset that He is always there and along for the ride, but I’M in the drivers seat. Why on earth do I want to be the driver when I have the ULTIMATE tour guide right next to me?? The One who knows all the back roads by heart, the One who can show me the greatest dirt roads, and take me on the most beautiful scenic route? It makes absolutely no sense. But I’m beyond grateful that God is putting this on my heart. It’s WAY past due for a Chinese fire drill!
Ultimately, fundraising is hard. It’s challenging, It has a way of getting under your skin and making you weak for a moment. However, I wouldn’t trade this time for anything, because through being challenged, through my faith and patience being incredibly tested, God is molding my heart into what HE wants it to be. And quite honestly, that’s the greatest feeling in the world.
