Okay, I should just go ahead and write part 2 while it is on my mind.
I mentioned in the last blog, what long-distance, World Race relationships look like. In this blog I want to talk about training camp.
Training camp is a week where your squad will come together and get to know each other, AIM, and learn what life will be like on the World Race. Coming in to training camp, I was excited but nervous. I am a major blog stalker and so I knew about some of the things we would be doing and I wasn’t super excited about it. But training camp is only one week so it can’t be too bad right?!
The first day, we did our check in and went to our campsite to set up our tents and meet our squad. The first thing I saw was guys climbing poles, people comparing how many countries they had been to, and bonding over what college they just graduated from. Automatically, I have no where to fit in. We went through the week and I made small talk with many people but I still didn’t find my “group”. The guy bonded because there weren’t may of them. Many of the girls found people that looked like them and became best friends (the blonde girls, the sorority girls, etc). Where is the group of chubby mixed girls? Where do I fit in?
After many days of training camp and many hard situations, we got our team assignments. I didn’t know who I wanted to be on a team with, but I was pretty sure about who I didn’t want to be with. I told the staff that I didn’t want to be with anyone who is hyper-sensitive or emotional. I didn’t want to be with a male leader. I didn’t want to be with anyone who seemed fake or naïve. I had a lot of requirements and I was super upset to see that the did not listen to what I requested.
Well, I guess they (once again) knew what they were doing. I told my team early on about all the requirements I had for my team and how I felt it was not listened to. I told them that I didn’t need to make new friends (check out my blog about Living in Community). And I thought that AIM was being dramatic about how your team could make or break your race.
Every time someone would tell me to “buy in” to the team, I rolled my eyes. When the squad leaders encouraged giving feedback, I told myself and them how unnecessary feed back is. I pretty much argued with everything because it was new and weird and I didn’t think I needed it.
Believe it or not, it has made my race so much harder. It has made bonding with my team near impossible. It has made my relationship with God stay stagnant. It just hasn’t been good. So two weeks ago, I woke up and prayed to God to help me. I said I would “buy in” to me team. I said I would give feedback when necessary and would love others the best that I can. And guess what, nothing happened right away.
What the heck God?! I said I would do all the things I am supposed to. I am changing my heart and my attitude. Why is this still so hard?! Because the World Race isn’t supposed to be easy. Some things are easier. I am loving my team better and they are loving me better, but we aren’t perfect. We still disagree and hurt each others’ feelings. We have to be reminded to forgive and to give grace.
But there is a big difference now. Since I have decided to make the change of heart, I feel like I better know why I am here. I know that month eleven Brittany is smiling because training camp Brittany is going away. Once again, this was a pride issue that I had to rid myself of in order to get the most out of this life. The “bad girl” mentality is hard to get rid of. I still want to argue with people. I still want to push limits at times. But what I want more, is to be the person God made me to be. I want to be someone who is respected and someone who is lovable. I no longer desire to be remembered for my sarcasm and loud mouth. I want to be known for my heart and my joy, my wisdom and my knowledge.
There is more to come in the “Bad Girl’s of the World Race” series. Make sure to subscribe to my blogs so you can get updates sent directly to your email!! Until next time!!
