[**DISCLAIMER** I am putting part 1 because I am almost positive this is going to be an on going topic in my world]
In order to understand where I am coming from, you first might need a little history about me. For as long as I can remember, I have loved breaking rules and pushing the limits. I would not break the rules enough to get into serious trouble, but I would see how far I could go. This made my parents have an awesome time while I was in high school and college (sorry mom and dad). But this is the story of being a “bad girl” on the World Race.
When you first get accepted to the World Race, something they ask of you, is to not start a relationship from the time you are accepted until You come home from the end of the race. I agreed to this and didn’t think much of it. At the time, I was single and not looking to date anyways, so I didn’t think it would be a big deal.
Well, about 6 months after I got accepted, I met a guy at work who really sparked my interest. He was cute and funny, a little nerdy (but not in a bad way), and he loved Jesus. His dad was even a pastor. I knew I wasn’t supposed to date but it all just seemed too good to be true. From the time I met him, I told him about the World Race and how I was going to be leaving soon for 11 months and he didn’t seem to mind. He was actually very supportive of me going on this trip.
Everything was great. We spent almost everyday together last spring and summer and before we knew it, it was time for launch. We said our goodbyes knowing that this would be hard but we thought we could make it work. Well here I am to tell you, it didn’t work.
The first two months of the race (really starting at launch in Atlanta) I felt like God was telling me to let go of the relationship. I ignored it. Then when I was having lunch in Guatemala with our ministry contact, she said to let it go….and I ignored it. I even brought up my concerns to many friends on the squad and believe it or not, they all said the same thing.
I prayed a lot. I asked God why I couldn’t have the comfort of being with him. I asked why I couldn’t have a boyfriend at home cheering me on and waiting for me to come home. And I even asked why I had to give up the first really good boyfriend I have had.
God answered with one simple sentence, “Do you trust me?”
Yes, I trust you God but I like being comfortable.
“Do you trust me?”
Yes, but I will probably never find a good guy again.
“DO YOU TRUST ME?”
Okay God. I will trust you.
I am slowly learning that the World Race staff doesn’t just make rules for fun, but for the sake of helping. They have been in my shoes. They have probably started relationships right before the race and then it hindered growth. I now have to swallow my pride and say I WAS WRONG. I love pushing limits and breaking rules but I am slowly learning, at 25 years old, that some rules are put in place for a reason.
I am praying that I don’t take rules so personally or that I don’t always find a way to make them not apply to me. I am learning a little bit every day of what it means to live in abandonment and how I can actually get the most out of this year. I know that God has plans for me but I need to put my stubbornness aside in order to really see it.
Until next time!!
