The holiday season has not been an easy thing for me in the past few years. My parents split up in the summer of 2011 and for the last 3 years, I have had to have separate holidays (one with mom and one with dad). I had seen my friends growing up do this forever and so it was not a huge shock to have divorced parents….or so I thought.
When I was growing up, I was the only one of my friends for the most part that had parents that were still married and I thought this was so cool. I prided myself and my family that I did not have to go to moms or dads every other weekend or have 2 bedrooms to split my stuff out into. I never thought this would be something that I would go though at 21 years old.
My parents sat me and my siblings down one night and said they were splitting up. We were all angry. I remember my brother going to his room and slamming the door while me and my sister grabbed the car keys and left.
The next few months were filled with anger and tears, and most of all, deciding who we wanted to live with since all of us lived at home at the time. We got all that figured out, again with anger and tears but we were fine. Then Fall approached and when I thought I was doing okay, I was reminded of how real this situation was. Who was I going to spend Thanksgiving with? Mom makes the best turkey, what will we eat at dads house?
Since we lived with dad, we spent Thanksgiving day with him, then went to mom’s later that weekend. It just did not feel like a holiday though. There was no picking jokes with dad while mom was in the other room cooking. Or board games where we competed like it was some sort of life or death situation. (You have to know my family to understand this one.) It was different.
Yes, we ate and laughed and played games but it was different. And for the last 3 years it has been different. Yesterday, me and my siblings hungout at moms house and ate and laughed and played games like always but as I went to bed and I was thinking about today, I knew I had to do it all over again with dad and his new wife.
I am selfish. I want my parents back together even though I know they never will. I want to have one Thanksgiving instead of 2. I want my family of 5 back together, just us and no one else, because I am selfish.
I always have to think hard about what I am thankful for this time of year. Yes, I love my family and my friends. I am happy to have a nice house to live in and a job that is decent. I know I have a lot of people that love me and I love them back. But this year, I am challenging myself to be thankful for what is in front of me. I am going to be thankful that my parents are no longer miserable like they were while they were together. I am thankful that my dad is with someone who makes him happy despite my feelings towards the situation and that my mom has a job that she loves and is finally happy.
It is not always about me and my feelings. Sometimes it is about others being happy and me not expecting anything else. This Thanksgiving has taught me that more than anything else and I think it is a lesson I will learn over and over again while I am out on the field.
