(Read this first: http://brittanycox.theworldrace.org/?filename=yesterday-i-rode-a-camel-in-my-front-yardand this second: http://brittanycox.theworldrace.org/?filename=kenyan-social-work)
My second day of home visits with Brittney’s Home involved a
man I have come to know fairly well while here in Kenya. The following are some
journal entries about that visit and about some other thoughts I’ve been having
while in Kenya.
September 22nd, 2010 1:20pm
Peter* gives so much of himself at his job and for his
community; I never imagined he had such a heavy burden at home. Most of his
fifteen siblings have died of HIV, leaving children behind for him to care for.
He is the youngest sibling, but he’s basically taking care of his entire
family- mom, dad, sisters, brothers, nieces, and nephews. He is also providing
for his own two children and wife. The situation we went to investigate
involved his sister’s family. She is HIV positive and leaves her three children
behind for months at a time as she wanders and struggles to come to grips with
this sentence. Her husband’s whereabouts
are unknown, and he is not allowed near the children. He has become mentally
ill after killing his mother. Peter cares for his niece Melvin (5) and nephews
Emmanuel (3) and Daniel (1 1/2). That makes the total number of children he
provides for ten.
It’s good that some of Peter’s burden has been lightened-
Melvin and Emmanuel were accepted into Brittney’s Home. They decided baby
Daniel should be left behind as an incentive for the mother to stay and learn
some responsibility. I’m not sure why one will do the trick when three didn’t,
but those with a better understanding of the culture and this family believe
this is the best decision. In a moment this child’s life made a dramatic split
from the lives of his siblings. I know it’s a joyful thing that these kids are
being given a more hopeful future. But something in my heart aches with the
separation of siblings, even the separation of extended families. I watched the
cousins of these children sob as we drove away with them. I feel heavy with the
gravity of the situations I have seen and been a part of– life-changing
decisions made in a single breath.
4:42pm
Moses has arrived at the orphanage. He has arrived with a
prescription for HIV medication. Moses is positive. Moses is three years old.
Moses has HIV.
HIV. It has managed to escape my thoughts while I’ve been in
Kenya. I never consider that it is a silent monster in the lives of many that I
interact with. It’s everywhere. It’s the cause of many of these deaths I keep
hearing about. It passes onto innocent, helpless babies because fear and shame
keep mothers silent; they ignore the option for an injection during pregnancy
that would drastically reduce the transference of this deadly disease, because
speaking up would mean isolation and judgment. Myths perpetuate the vicious
cycle. Further silence allows HIV to go untreated for years in these tiny
little bodies. HIV. It’s everywhere.
11:01pm
I can’t shake the sickened feeling I have as I begin to
identify the “savior� mentality of many Americans. Orphaned children are used
as photo opportunities to document our good deeds for people back home. Stories are told for shock and awe,
feelings we can usually discard and forget soon enough.
I cringe and want to cry in shame, knowing for a fact that I’ve
inflicted my self-righteous attitude onto the lives of the broken and hurting.
September 25th, 2010 11:30am
Meeting with Madame Bonny re: Anti-FGM Project
-FGM: Female Genital Mutilation(aka: female circumcision).
The traditional act that involves partial or total removal of the external female genitalia as a rite of passage into womanhood, signifying
the readiness for marriage.
-Primary purpose of FGM: the bride price. The price paid by
a man for his bride. Will only be received when a bride has been circumcised.
-Rite of passage IF the girl doesn’t cry. The procedure is
done without any kind of sedative. The girl is expected to remain silent or
else be labeled a coward and unworthy of marriage. After the procedure she
walks home (possibly miles), continuing in the demanded silence.
-Costs of secondary education encourage dropouts and early
marriages especially in impoverished families.
-After FGM, they are forced into early marriage and
education is halted.
-A single elderly woman performs all the procedures for Isibania
and the surrounding areas, including into Tanzania. She uses the same unclean
tool for each girl, does not bandage, and gets paid for it.
-Madame Bonny offers refuge for girls fleeing from their
families during the months of November and December (when the circumcision is
performed). Once the girls return home after this time, their families often
refuse to pay their school fees any longer. A year passes and the girl has been
without education and has faced tremendous shame and pressure to undergo the
procedure. With little hope of any other option, she often does. Madame Bonny
wants to build a center to meet the needs of these girls who wish to break the
cycle of this tradition, providing them with education and care so that they
have a choice.
-She tells us that most of the girls we have met in the schools
we have visited have either undergone this procedure or about to undergo the
procedure in the upcoming season.
I wrestle with even posting these stories, concerned that
they will accomplish the opposite of what I intend. I don’t want you to be horrified
and sympathetic. I want you to put a real person to the context of statistics
I’m sure you already know. I want you to pray for these people. I want you to
remember your brothers and sisters on the other side of the world. I want you
to cry out for God’s Kingdom to come- for justice and healing to be real in
their lives.
*Names have been changed for privacy.
