Password: bewithBC
Get in the ring with me this month will you?
As most of you know (or possibly don’t) my team has been given the opportunity to do Ask The Lord ministry this month. We were dropped off in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam, given a budget and were told to ask the Lord what He wanted us to do for the month. After a few days of prayer and fasting, we decided to stay here in Ho Chi Minh.
Hit 1.
I went into this month excited. Pumped for what the Lord was going to do. I’d read countless blogs, I’d heard countless stories of how the Lord has shown up for teams during months where there we’re no limitations. And we get to do it in a closed country – a country where evangelism and talking to people about Jesus is illegal. The wildest thing about Vietnam is that ministry opportunities literally walk right up to you and all you need to do is sit on a park bench. People from all walks of life will come up to you to practice English and talk with you for as long as you let them. After a few days of wandering aimlessly I began to realize the false perceptions I had for the month. I’d gone into it expecting that every day was going to be some spontaneous adventure. I was sitting on my favorite park bench a few days into the month begging God for some deep connection when 2 girls walked up to me – we practiced English and then they began to show me around the entire city for hours. We laughed, we ate ice cream and we shared life stories. It was in that moment that I realized the importance of consistency. I’d been going to that same park bench every day since we arrived in Vietnam. But if I wouldn’t have went that day I never would’ve met my two new friends.
What I began to understand was that sometimes we put our Christian free spirits above our faithfulness so much that it can actually make us aimless.
God did not create us in His image so that we would live aimlessly. He did not create us to be like fallen leaves blown around in the streets of life. He created us to be purposeful – to have a focus and an aim for each and all of our days. So why was I letting myself be blown back and forth in the wind? I had a plan: I would go to the same places at the same times every day and ask the Lord to show up.
Hit 2.
After a week here we found a church that the girls on my team and I got the opportunity to partner with for part of the month. We had the chance to go to an orphanage and teach English to underprivileged kids. From the moment we met them, they melted my heart. I was no longer wandering the streets aimlessly looking. God had literally handed me exactly what I’d been asking for. On the morning of the 17th we hopped in a van and headed an hour away from here to an orphanage this church partners with. We put on a children’s play and we played with the kids. I was running up and down the playground tickling children and chasing them to the point of exhaustion and then some. As I was running towards the dining tent with 5 kids hanging on my arms I had a revelation: I was made to work with kids. People spend their entire lives asking for purpose. Honestly, I went on the race looking for purpose. But there’s a reason the Lord gifts us with talents and skillsets – because He wants us to use them. So what’s my purpose for the month? Children. Children at the school, children I meet at the park who make me pretend to be a horse and put me in time-out over and over again, children who want me to throw them in the air and push them on a rusty old swing or seesaw. My purpose was to love on these sweet little children and let them know that they are loved way beyond anything I could ever offer them.
Hit 3.
I was over the hill and ready to dive into the last two weeks of ministry. For one of our off days here the ladies of Fernweh went out to see a movie. Back home this was a thing for my mom and I. We’d plan our off days together and make them date days typically involving us seeing a movie. I sent her a text telling her I missed her and that I was thinking of her. Her response: “Thanks I really needed that today. My dad died at 5:30 this morning…”. This was 4 days before Christmas.
Knocked down.
I had taken a few hits this month but was still fighting back. This took the wind right out of me. I was down and ready to be out of the fight.
Instantly the lies rushed in. “I didn’t have a chance to say goodbye. Why didn’t I go see him before the race? What could he possibly think of me?”
Do you ever feel unseen by God? Like He doesn’t really care about your day to day life? Because that’s what I had been struggling with all month. Feeling unseen and unheard by everyone, including God. I started going through my pile of things, because organizing something helps me clear my head, when I found my bag of letters that my friends/family wrote for me while I was on the race. I remembered I had some letters to open on Christmas so I opened them early praying that I’d find some kind of encouragement to keep going. One had a gift – a white watch. I began to sob almost instantly.
You see, last month in Nepal some of us went paragliding and in doing so I lost my favorite white watch. I had been telling my team over and over again that I wanted a watch for Christmas. Not only was the gift a white watch, it was the exact same watch I had lost paragliding. As I was sobbing on the floor The Lord spoke to me:
“I formed you before you were even in your mother’s womb. I knew all this would happen to you. I know it’s hard my child. But I see you, Brittany.”
It was in that moment that I had felt more seen by God than ever before. It was also in that moment I understood the power Satan really does have. Satan is so real. He brings misery to us, whether physically or emotionally. And if He can’t bring it to us, He will bring it to those around us. But what I learned this month is that satan may have a hand in our lives, but He will never have the ultimate hand. Satan is not the ultimate decider on things. Our God is.
Vietnam,
Thanks for making me a fighter.
Thanks for growing me.
Thanks for kicking my ass a little.
Because now I know how seen and loved I really am.
