I was recently talking with a friend about the Election…let me first say that this is not a political post. So don’t worry. Anyway, me and my friend were honestly a little disappointed with the results. A normal thing for one side to feel when their side does not come up victorious. On my Facebook status, he said:
“God saves all, no matter what party. On each party, who believes will be saved and given the strength to endure. I believe that those who find the positive out of a negative will prosper soulfully…..”
How beautiful that truth. I honestly had been feeling discouraged about not the results, but rather the viewpoints on this generation and voting. But that is for another blog. I mentioned to my friend that all we can do is pray. Pray viciously that the Lord uses this situation for His ultimate good. That he is with our leadership and that they lead well. He said something interesting:
“don’t need to pray/ask. he already knows”
Another truth…to an extent. I responded:
“He does…but He also likes to be needed. He still desires you to ask :)”
And then he said something that hit me like a slap in the face…in a good way!
“i don't like to ask for help”
I sat there for a moment…watching the cursor blinking, patiently waiting for my response. Not because I was upset. I searched my heart for a minute…trying to figure out what I was thinking, what I was feeling. I was feeling the same way as him! I hate asking for help! Why is that? Why do we hate asking? Since speaking with him I have been pondering the reasons for why we as a society feel like we need to have everything figured out and be self sustaining. Often in today’s culture you are labeled “Needy” or an “inconvenience” or even “Charity” when you ask for help. Intentions of being a servant are no longer pure but polluted and diluted down to the point that retribution and praise are not an added bonus’, but expected in return of any and every kindness given. Even if said helper shrugs off the helped persons inability to repay the kindness, bitterness festers and grows like a cancer in the helper…driving a wedge deep into the fibers of that relationship.
To ask for help is weak…it means you can’t do something on your own, within your own strength. It’s pathetic, annoying, and petty…or so society tells us. DIY. Do it yourself. If you can’t, don’t do it. Whether that means taking on a financial opportunity that you might not be able to fulfill…an apartment…a car…a student loan.
“I got myself into this mess, I will get myself out. [Google Search: Credit Cards] *applies for all of them*”
Perhaps it is a relationship…taking on the relationship and when things get rough realize that it needs to be fixed…or dumped; but it is important to fix that relationship on your own…or, force the other person to change.
“Clearly it is her fault, if this doesn’t work out it’s because they didn’t stop nagging me to clean the kitchen and take the dog out. And she works ALL THE TIME. There is no point that *I* should go to counselling…anyone else would just make the problem bigger than it needs to be.”
Or maybe it is who has been elected into office.
“What’s done is done. We can’t do anything. Pass me a beer and I’ll see y’all in 4 more years…if America is still around.”
Or this little beauty:
“This is my race…my choice…no one should help me fund this. People are struggling themselves financially…I don’t want to be a burden. I chose to be a missionary, I can figure it out.”
So what do we do? Throw up a couple walls, pretend everything is honkey-dorey and glue on a mask so that people cannot see how broken we are. I think the root problem with why it is so hard to ask for help lies in what it takes in order to do so. Humility. Vulnerability. Grace. All three of those things being something that we as humans are not comfortable with! We crave safety…we crave normalcy…we crave peace…asking for help does the opposite of all of those things. It’s like jumping off of a bridge and trusting that the carabiner holding your feet together, and bungee cord attached will save you from falling to your death. You free fall into the hands of the unknown. We take what we hold so dearly and desperately and reluctantly offer a piece of it to those we love, and even complete strangers. We jump.
The brief freefall leaves us breathless…reaching back in desperation and regretting our decision to leap…but what we never realize is during the time of our greatest weakness and fear…we have shown more strength and courage than we could have ever imagined. To jump…to willingly decide to put yourself in harms way intentionally is a huge testament to who we are as a people. That decision is magnified when we ask The Lord for help.
“A little boy was having difficulty lifting a heavy stone.
His father came along just then.
Noting the boy’s failure, he asked, “Are you using all your strength?”
“Yes, I am,” the little boy said impatiently.
“No, you are not,” the father answered.
“I am right here just waiting, and you haven’t asked me to help you.”
– Anon
So perfect! God IS our strength! We cannot do life without him! Yes, he knows already what we desire and need…but he longs so desperately for you to communicate it to Him. He longs to be desired! He wants to help! Consider it pure joy to have a Father who loves and desires that relationship with you! You cannot get out of debt on your own…You cannot expect your marriage to fix itself while you sit and wait for the other person to change…I cannot fund this race my myself…and need the help of His people to get me there. How wonderful to be a child of God…a God who serves. Free fall and let the grace and mercies of the Lord catch you and lead you to safety! Let him be the first person you go to in times of need. He will provide.
Psalm 91:1-2: "Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, 'He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.'”
1 Peter 5:7, "Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you."
Matthew 7:7- “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you”
John 14:13- “And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father.”
