Written yesterday, July 20th, the day I should have died.
I love Saturdays. Seriously. Today started great. The best thing about Saturday's is that it's excursion day. The day we get off to go explore the country we are in. I woke up early to shower this morning…got my "hot girl disguise" on…which really is just mascara and a little foundation…then decided to hit up Blintz for some breakfast and a chai with Leslie. Oh my gosh. So good. Leslie had the continental and I had the Benedict…which was phenomenal. From there, some of the squad decided to check out the mayan ruins that were about a 15 minute drive away. So we decided to walk it there…which was awesome. The Quiche countryside was so beautiful. After about an hour we got to the Ruins, met a man, paid $5Q and got free reign of the park. It was definitely interesting…turns out the site is still seen as a spiritual place. There were smoking remnants of a bonfire that was meant for sacrifices in front of a ruin with two carefully placed candles…we weren't allowed to climb on the ruins, and we couldn't yell. The ruins were cool…definitely worth seeing, and there were definitely a ton of pictures taken there. Once we were done with the Ruins we decided to find the caves that were nearby to do some exploring. We definitely found them and we definitely explored them. The first was filled with SO much smoke from a bonfire that had happened the night before….it hurt my throat to be in there. The second cave was not as smoky, and super cool. We kept following the trail looking for another cave and it got steeper and steeper and went further and further down. Because we were already about halfway down, we decided to get to the bottom. It took us a good half hour to get to the bottom and when we did it was mildly disappointing…guatemalans do not take care of the land they live in. There was a river that smelled like straight up sewage…and the banks were covered in old clothes, trash, and other discarded items. It was SO dirty that there was a huge mound of foam piled up next to one side of the bank.
Normal people would have turned around, cut their losses, and went home. Not our group. We cross the river (which was ankle deep) and did a little snooping. Now, the river ran through the middle of a ravine…once mountainside on each side. A few of us decided to scale the opposite side to see what was at the top…me included. Right away I was nervous. But, when am I going to scale a mountainside in Guatemala again? So I kept going. It was pretty much a vertical climb. We had to jam our toes into the side to create foot holes in the side so we could step up. Inch by Inch we kept going up and up and up. It was hard. So hard. But the closer we got to the top, the more excited I got. It was super accomplishing to get as far as we did. At about 100-115ft up one of our squad mates below told us that there was a lot more mountainside than we thought…so we decided to go back down.
This is when the angels came. We started our descent. I dug my heels into the side of the mountain. I took about two steps and my foothold gave out. I was sliding…fast. One of my squadmates who was right in front of me grabbed my arm. For half a second I clung to his arm when I realized that I would take him with me. So I let go. I let my body go limp. I gained speed…faster and faster I fell. I reached my fingers out and grabbed fist fulls of ferns, twigs, grass…and uprooted everything I prayed would hold me…stop me from falling. Then the ground beneath me was gone. I began to roll, cartwheel, flip on the mountain surface…only gaining speed as I fell. I remember thinking: "I'm going to die. My brothers and sisters are going to watch me die right now. How would I get back up the other side? How would I get back home to my family? How would my family handle my death?" Somehow, whether it be the whisper of an angel or the angel doing it for me, I tucked my head into my chest and covered my head and neck with my hands as I fell. I knew the ground was coming. I wondered what would happen. Would I suffer? Would I live long enough to make it to the hospital? Finally, the ground came. I landed on my back in the water of the dirty river below. My response was instantaneous. Breathless, I sat up gasping for the precious air that was slowly filling my lungs. The wind was gone…way knocked out of me. I reached for my squad mates with wild eyes…I knew that I needed to keep my eyes open…I needed to force my chest to suck in more and more air. "Help me Up!" I remember pleading. "I'm okay, I'm okay…Help me up!" Some of the boys with me grabbed me and helped me to the bank. When I stood up, I immediately rolled my shoulders and my neck…it wasn't broken. I took a step forward…my right leg/ankle/foot wasn't broken either. Then another step. My left side was okay too. I flexed my fingers, twisted and turned my wrists…no pain. I still gasped for air, my lungs aching with my need to fill them past capacity. I was breathing. I could see. I was walking. My backpack and I fell a little over 100ft. The screams of my squadmates finally resonated in my brain. My squadmates up on the mountainside were screaming my name and asking if I was okay. My limbs were on fire. I looked down and they were covered in scrapes and cuts and mud. My hair was matted with mud and leaves. Still I gasped for air, getting dizzy from borderline hyperventilating. Someone handed me water, but I didn't want to think about that right now. I began taking inventory of what I knew I was missing. My new ring…my ring that said the Lord's prayer in spanish was gone. My throat clenched when I noticed my bracelet that my boyfriend and I both wore…my world race bracelet…was gone. The charms in my necklace that my mom got for me, all gone. And finally…my shoes. Gone. I panicked when I realized that I landed on my camera in my backpack. Someone checked it, and it was literally unscathed. I focused on slowing my breathing. I closed my eyes as some of my fellow racers started cleaning my cuts. Someone had brought their medkit with them. The only things available for cleaning my wounds was rubbing alcohol and Purell hand sanitizer. I was shaking…I was in pain…but I was alive.
I should have died today. People don't cliff dive into water from 100ft…let alone survive a 100ft fall into ankle deep dirty water. We wrapped up my wounds and began the trek back to the top. Andrew in front of me, Mike behind, they pushed, pulled, and encouraged me to the top. I was physically exhausted. I am so thankful for their support. I would not have been able to do it without them. We took a van back to camp and I limped the rest of the way. Another squadmate is an EMT…so she cleaned and bandaged every cut. Right after I walked to the internet cafe where I told my loved ones how much I loved them and cried with happiness that I could see them…that I could talk to them…
I should have died today. I'm sitting here, listening to a spanish worship concert in the distance, literally praising Jesus for his mercy and grace given to me today. My limbs are burning…but they're there. I can feel them. Between the sobs as I type this, the air is going in and out of my lungs. I'm able to produce tears…to stand up. I am alive. I am alive. I am alive. Jesus must have something incredible planned for me. Because despite everything. I am here. I am alive. I can't wait to give the angels who protected me a giant hug. I can't wait to sit at Jesus feet and ask Him how He did it. I can drink this water…I can cry these tears…I can type these words. I'm alive I'm alive…He is Holy…he is Mighty. Thank you Jesus for my life. He's so incredibly good to me.
I should have died today. But Jesus had other things in mind.
