I remember sitting on my bed in my apartment…scouring the World Race website…grabbing my phone and searching the #11n11 hashtag…scrolling as picture after picture, video after video, and blog after blog passed, revealing stories of miracles, brokenness, hope, and of course, love. I remember wanting that.
I remember sitting there on my bed and looking at pictures of disabled children…and that began my journey of constantly praying for this chance to be one of the people I saw holding these children…and laying it before the Lord and surrendering my expectations.
And then 4 days ago happened.
Team changes.
Travel to Hyderabad, India.
My team leader saying : “We’re going to Sarah’s covenant home”.
18 months of dreaming.
7 months of surrendering.
6 words that brought more joy than anything I’ve ever heard before.
Then I met Ruby.
We walked into the beautiful house here in Hyderabad not sure what to expect. I dropped off my things downstairs and was soon being guided around the house by our ministry host, and house mom of the orphanage. Sitting in an office chair to our left was a Q Squad racer with a tiny bundle in her arms. This is when the reality began to sink in that I was really here. With tears in my eyes and a wide smile on my face I soaked up every detail of the house…including the full kitchen at our disposal.
After barely getting any sleep from the excitement that night, it was time for the first day on the job. This is the day I met little 4lb, Ruby. It was shocking to see a baby so small. Then you add the fact that she is two months old to the equation and it just breaks your heart all over again.
Ruby is new here at SCH.
She was found, abandoned at a hospital at one month old…and has been in government custody ever since. And now, she’s here.
Here at SCH, they are literally having us be “mommies” for the month. They’re having us bond with a particular child, care for, and advocate for that child via Facebook and blogs in order to be sure their monthly financial needs are met.
It’s a little nerve wracking, to be honest, having the pressure of getting at least one child to like you. It’s funny how a grown woman can still feel afraid of begin rejected by children under the age of 5.
After a few days, there was no question in my mind that this little gem was mine.
A few weeks ago I was told a dream that a friend of mine had had of me. She explained that I passed a pregnancy test to her dad in India…which she was confused about because her dad wasn’t coming to Parent Vision Week. After a she spoke with a few people who have the gift of interpretation, she told me that the Pregnancy Test symbolized my miscarriage and the hurt I feel from that. And her dad, was actually Jesus. She told me that this month I will finally heal from my past. I will finally let it go.
So how fitting is it that Jesus would place a tiny baby girl in my hands this month in India?
Fitting indeed.
My heart is full.
My love is large.
My tears are real.
I am so thankful.
Honestly, in this, I am really seeking the Lord. It’s day 4 and this child is the apple of my eye…the straw to my berry…I love her so very much. I know that the plans the Lord has for Ruby and I are great. And I can’t wait to see her grow every day and get healthier as the month goes on.
Pray for Ruby. That she would gain weight quickly.
That she would have supporters to help fund her medical costs and costs of living here at the orphanage.
And pray for an unspoken that I have as well. Trust me. Please pray.
I’ll be sure to post milestones and pictures of my sweet angel often.
Until then…I’ll be getting puked, peed, and pooped on, and smiling, giggling, and loving every second of it.
