I know. It's a confusing title. Let's break it down shall we? Chances are 60-70% of you all reading this are one of two types of people:
- A Future Racer : For example, UVWX, less than a month away from your very own training camp. (Get Excited!)
- Someone who doesn't really know if they want to sign up for the race but for some reason have this huge obsession of following everyone's stories and blogs. AKA : Blog Stalking. (Congratulations…you're completely normal. All of us racers have, are, and will continue to do it for probably forever.
The good thing is that both of you are very familiar with the application process! Both of you have gone through and seen what it takes to get an interview for the race. Most likely, with the interview…you left somethings out in fear that you might not get accepted. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't do the same thing; So I don't blame you. Just know…everyone in your squad will know everything about you within the first week of being on the field. And I'm not exaggerating. When I met my squad, I automatically assumed I was the worst one of the bunch. That I had gone through the deepest hurt. That no one needed to know my story but me and God. Folks, if that is you, you're selfish. I'm selfish. The other night we had an awesome session about secrets. Our Squad Mentor brought up Post Secret…a website and motivational movement that allows people to send in post cards that they design of their biggest secrets that no one else knows. Secrets that eat away at your soul like a terminal cancer…slowly consuming you day by day as you burry that secret deeper and deeper.
I've never been more moved by a session with my Squad.
I wasn't the only broken person.
People have felt the same hurts as me.
People have felt their hearts break.
Every sin you can imagine was discussed in two nights. And every hurt, habit, and hangup was confessed and brought to light. Both innocent and guilty parties poured out their soul to 60 people they'd only known in person less than a month. People laughed with pure Joy that Lord had delivered and brought them out of their struggles…people wept as they confessed something they haven't been able to kick yet. People wept as they explained their deepest hurts…hurts that some of them had emotionally blacked out of their memory until launching on this race. Everything was accounted for. Every sin. I couldn't help but be heart broken for my squad as they spoke…as they wiped tears from their eyes. After every secret…someone from our squad would pray for the individual. Soon, one was not enough. Our entire squad would surround our sister/brother in Christ and rebuke the lies satan had whispered in their ears for so long. We would pour out pure love. Pure joy. Pure forgiveness.
So while being heartbroken…my heart was encouraged. My heart was encouraged because Satan no longer had a hold on my sisters and brothers. No longer would they feel like they had to act like the "Perfect Christian". No longer would they feel dirty, discarded, used, and broken. No longer would they have to bear the weight of their secrets. No longer would they feel trapped. They could be themselves. They could feel weightless. They could be free. By the blood of Jesus, they are free! By confessing their deepest hurts and regrets, my brothers and sisters were FREE. True Freedom. The kind that someone can't take away from you. Freedom to laugh. To be that child of Christ dancing in the fields laughing and singing praises…calling His name…"Daddy…Daddy…you have made me free! I am free because of Your great love! You know me. You know all of me. My hurts. My habits. My addictions. You NEVER left my side through my transgressions and through my deepest pain…You were there. You never let anything bad happen to me that You cannot use to bring TRUE peace, joy, and love into my life! Hosanna in the highest. For you are with me always."
James 5 : 16 – "Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed."
Through my confession to my squad and squad leaders…through my story…I feel like the little girl in the field…wearing that sparkling tiara…dancing in my fathers love. Soaking up the sweet sunlight He provides. Singing His praises. Calling His name in pure joy. Released of the dirt…the pain…the secrets…the cancer.
1 Corinthians 1 : 30 – "God has united you with Christ Jesus. For our Benefit God made him to be wisdom itself. Christ made us right with God; he made us pure and holy and he FREED us from sin."
So. Two days ago I put in my real application. And I'm still sitting here. On this concrete floor in Guatemala. Butt numb, face sunburned, body covered in mosquito bites, and heart…free.
