OK, so I would agree. Living with abandon is dangerous, you can and will get hurt, and eventually it will take its toll on you.
I know this from experience. My body, my heart, and my spirit have all been broken in result of this. My body has undergone some very tough things. I have had multiple sprained ankles, torn my ACL, had an emergency appendectomy and I have planter fasciitis (can't wear flat shoes for long periods of time). I have knocked the vertebrates out of alignment on my back (from trying to squat more than I could), been so sick I had to be rushed to the ER, and have passed out from pain resulting in a bloody face and a concussion. I gave my heart away and it was broken in ways I didn't even know it could be broken. No piece was left untouched, every part of it was damaged. My spirit has been so low that I had to go to counseling and questioned if God even existed. I have grown up in the church and have been saved my whole life, and I was sure (at the time) that God either wasn't alive or that he was FAR FAR FAR away from me. So yes, I agree with all those statements and questions above!
However, my God can rebuild, recreate, and refine. My body is healed. I am healthy and I was able to play the last season of my college basketball career with a repaired ACL successfully and joyfully. My heart has been molded back together. Not glued, because that would leave spaces and cracks; it has actually been renewed, recreated even. There are no pieces missing, it is whole. My heart is finally in the hands of my beloved and no one is taking it away from Him. My spirit endured the most. All things are connected to your spirit and soul, so it was in the lowest and most hopeless of places. While it was in the lowest places, God allowed it to take root and grab onto Him starting at the foundation of my being. The roots eventually became firm and over time I grew into a deeply grounded woman of faith. He was working the night shift for me while I slept and crept in dark places. The more time that passed, the more He began to connect myself to Him. As time went by, He slowly revealed Himself to me and I began to see that the reason I couldn't see Him or feel Him wasn't because He was far away. It was because He was working DEEP inside of me. In places I couldn't see until He had rooted me and my spirit in Him. God was with me, better yet He was inside of me, the entire time. He healed the parts of me that were broken and He began to spring up inside of me. SLOWLY. The process was grueling and painful. But COMPLETELY worth it.
This Psalm means a lot to me, during the hardest year, this was a promise from Him that He fulfilled.
Psalm 66
All together now—applause for God! Sing songs to the tune of his glory,
set glory to the rhythms of his praise.
Say of God, "We've never seen anything like him!"
When your enemies see you in action,
they slink off like scolded dogs.
The whole earth falls to its knees—
it worships you, sings to you,
can't stop enjoying your name and fame.
5-6 Take a good look at God's wonders—
they'll take your breath away.
He converted sea to dry land;
travelers crossed the river on foot.
Now isn't that cause for a song?
7 Ever sovereign in his high tower, he keeps
his eye on the godless nations.
Rebels don't dare
raise a finger against him.
8-12 Bless our God, O peoples!
Give him a thunderous welcome!
Didn't he set us on the road to life?
Didn't he keep us out of the ditch?
He trained us first,
passed us like silver through refining fires,
Brought us into hardscrabble country,
pushed us to our very limit,
Road-tested us inside and out,
took us to hell and back;
Finally he brought us
to this well-watered place.
13-15 I'm bringing my prizes and presents to your house.
I'm doing what I said I'd do,
What I solemnly swore I'd do
that day when I was in so much trouble:
The choicest cuts of meat
for the sacrificial meal;
Even the fragrance
of roasted lamb is like a meal!
Or make it an ox
garnished with goat meat!
16-20 All believers, come here and listen,
let me tell you what God did for me.
I called out to him with my mouth,
my tongue shaped the sounds of music.
If I had been cozy with evil,
the Lord would never have listened.
But he most surely did listen,
he came on the double when he heard my prayer.
Blessed be God: he didn't turn a deaf ear,
he stayed with me, loyal in his love.
I choose to live with abandon because I was hurt. Being hurt caused me to make the sprint to the cross that I should have made long ago. In every area of my life I lived with abandon. Now, I think I finally have it right. I now long to give myself to the only one worthy of having my all, my Abba. After you are slapped on the face with undeserved grace, after you are saved from the pit of despair, how can you not give all you have to the one who pulled you out and gave HIS all for YOU?
It is unbelievably hard to die to yourself and give HIM complete reigns to your life. It really is. But love compels me to give my all for Him. Forget fear, forget holding on to that one area of your life that you can't seem to give up to the Lord. Throw yourself in and see what happens when you give your life to the ONE who created you. I'll give you a hint: you will go from THIS to THAT, from BROKEN to WHOLE, from LOST to FOUND, from GREAT to NO FREAKIN WAY DID THAT JUST HAPPEN!!!
ABANDON. cool, I can dig it. Pray for me, cause it sure is hard! Especially when you throw being RECKLESS into the mix………….
