……
Change, yet again.
First, He used change to ignite and propel and awaken me. What would He do now?
Here I am, a month after I was asked to step out of squad leading. Reflecting and processing this change has been easier and harder than I thought it would.
Transition. Change. The end. The beginning. Shaking things up. Stirring the pot.
I have become extremely passionate about the need for all of the above. When I was squad leading, I saw how shaking things up propelled people into a deep dependency on Him. I saw that when they allowed God to change their surroundings and strip them of their comforts, transformation took place. I became a huge advocate of stirring the pot, shaking things up, ruffling feathers, pressing in to conflict, and however else you want to describe it. I am now an advocate of this because I SAW the fruit it produced and I saw God move and provide breakthrough.
Little did I know that He was going to make me eat my own words..and go through those things..again.
When I got the phone call and was asked to step down, everything in me KNEW it was right. I had peace and trusted it. I was able to trust because I have personally encountered the goodness of God and have seen how faithful He is. I was sad and my flesh wanted to listen to the lies that were filling my head and to be angry, but I battled that and clung to what my spirit KNEW.
What I know about Him: He is good. He always has the best waiting for me. He prepares me for certain seasons. He longs to bless me and shower me with favor and love. His discipline is necessary and He disciplines those HE loves, much like a parent would. He trains us. He refines us. He always shows up. He is always fighting for me behind-the-scenes. He never leaves me in the dark. His grace is incredible.
There’s more that I “know” about Him, but these are the things that I have encountered and seen and now know in my heart. There’s SO much more, I know.
You see, I am realizing that He not only takes us through seasons to learn and grow within ourselves, but He reveals who He is to us in different seasons as well.
In my last blog, I wrote about how I became a warrior and how I obeyed because God asked me to squad lead, not because I wanted to. To me, that epitomizes the relationship that I have had with Him until now, one of a Master and servant, and a General and soldier. With honor, I served Him and did what He asked of me. He trained me and walked me through some intense battles. It was good. So good.
In Ukraine, the first month of squad leading, He walked me through this idea of being His daughter. He showed me that He didn’t want me to just do what He says and to serve others, but HE wanted to have a relationship with me, an intimate relationship. I had an amazing encounter with Him and I KNOW that I am His daughter. However, it needs to sink in more. I still struggle with an orphan heart.
Picture this: a deep well. A deep, deep well. God was doing work in me while I squad led, but my well runs deep, much deeper than I knew. So there’s a lot sitting just below the surface, and there’s a lot DEEP down in there, that He is exposing. It’s SO good. He had to shake me up some more in order to get those things to rise to the surface. He did that by removing me from leadership and from taking me out of what I had gotten used to. Change. It is so good and necessary. We can embrace it because we have hope and KNOW the heart of the One in charge.
The awesome thing is that He didn’t take me out to just expose my junk, but because He wants more for me. He wants me to know Him as His daughter, as His lover, and as His friend. It is an honor to be a bondservant of the Most High, but He doesn’t want me to stay there. There’s more to Him and there’s more to me.
I received this word while I was still squad leading from a woman on our squad who is a dear friend of mine. She didn’t realize the prophecy that she was speaking at the time, but this would ultimately be God’s plan for me for the rest of the race, and my life 🙂
“You are a woman of passion and conviction, and you are walking boldly into who the Lord has created you to be. I will be praying that your fire of justice grows into a steady, burning flame fanned only by love and grace. You are not confined or defined by people speaking the “type” of person you are. There is a vast ocean of characteristics in you that are yet to be discovered, and it’s only by discovering the many facets of the Lord’s nature that you’ll be able to dive into each and every layer of your heart. This, of course, is a process that will never be completed, so never place who you are in Christ in a box…
Rest in the Lord. Overworked and fallow ground yields no crop for the kingdom. If you allow the ground to rest and tend to the soil by feeding it nutrients, the next crop is richer than those previous to it.”
Whoa. I know, powerful stuff. The image I have is someone going to war and transforming due to what they have experienced and seen. I am different. How could I not be? When you encounter God, you HAVE to change and become more like Him and become more like the person He has destined you to be right? Well, I believe He has called me home. By calling me out of leadership, HE has called me home to rest and be with Him. He said, well done Britt, I am proud of you. Thank you. Come home and hangout with me. Get to know me in new ways. Be filled with my love. Let me teach you things and FILL you.
He spoke to me about squad leading and this new season again through my team leader, Jill:
“I have seen you as a powerhouse, with strong words, a strong personality, and a strong demeanor. But I think God is showing me something more. There is peace and depth. You are not a powerful surf right now- you are a deep pool. There is a depth to you that has been undiscovered because you have been in the spotlight, under the microscope, called to be strong and dynamic and forceful. The depth is there, way out beyond the intense waves. In the next three months, as you learn to just BE and be more deeply known, there are going to be new sides of who you are that will come to light. You, along with us, get to discover new things about you and who you are, and things you have to offer and bring to the table that you don’t even know about yourself.
Britt, don’t feel like you have to be a label that many people have come to see you as. God is offering you a time of freedom to see the depth (calm and peaceful) part of who He has called you to be, rather than the pounding surf (powerful, intense, forceful) part of you that HE has brought out and used mightily, and will continue to use in the future.”
Freedom from being boxed in. Freedom to just BE. I don’t have to be a warrior in order to make waves in the kingdom. I can simply just BE and be filled with love and rest.
That is the season I am in.
He allowed change to take place to show me how precious I was to Him. He shook me and ruffled me to help me see that I am more than a servant or a warrior. He took me out of that season and has placed me in a new one in order to love on me and show me new sides of Him. As I write, He is revealing more of His character to me. Naturally, I am falling more and more in love with Him. And, when He asks me to go and lead and fight again, I will say yes not just out of obedience, but out of love.
I am more than a servant. I am more than clay. I am more than a soldier.
So are you.
We are sons and daughters. We are lovers. We are friends. We are heirs.
There’s more to me. There’s more to you. There’s more to Him.
