The other morning, I woke up at 5:30 am. It was pitch black outside and freezing. Everything in me wanted to stay wrapped up in the cave I had created with my covers. But I just couldn’t. I was too excited. Instantly, I was wide awake and ready for the day. I got ready, made my bed, and was eager with anticipation of what was about to take place.
My friend Vanessa and I set off to beat the sunrise. We pulled into a lot on the lake and sat there awaiting the sun’s arrival. The sky began to lighten up slowly and we placed bets on when the sun would be peeking through. We sat peacefully in her big ol Texas truck. There was silence. There was laughter. There was music. There was conversation. It was so simple and sweet.
Eventually, after an hour of sitting at the boat ramp, we began to question whether or not the sun would actually show up for the day. 7:00 rolled around, then 7:05…good grief will it come? Vanessa decided to google, “exact time of sunrise,” it said 7:09. Welp, 7:09 eventually came and there was no sun. Ugh. Why did we even come?
A few days earlier, I was sitting on my bed in y room and I heard God say, “You and Vanessa should come meet me at the sunrise.” I wrote it down and pondered it, and didn’t know if she would be down, because she loves her sleep just like I do. But, we both love nature and we both love simple moments with Jesus, so I figured she might be up for it.
We decided that Monday morning, before we do worship all together as a staff and organization, we would carve out space for beauty and simplicity.
Monday, we showed up and expected to meet Jesus there. But, it appeared like He didn’t show up. He led us there, and left us out to dry! There was no sun! What are the chances that the ONE day, the FIRST day we try this out, there would be no sun. No colors were strewn across the sky. No beauty that caused us to stop and intentionally look revealed itself to us whatsoever. What the heck. What was the point?
(none of this was happening that morning…) photo cred: andrew ingrassia
Eventually, we accepted reality, and swallowed the fact that there would be no sunrise. We pulled out and headed for the office. We had about forty-five minutes to kill. Both of us had pretty good attitudes and trusted that we weren’t being set up for disappointment that day. We enjoyed just being together and participating in the adventure of intentionally pursuing Jesus.
She turned the car off as we arrived at the Adventures in Missions parking lot and both of us just laughed it off. We both flew our seats back and fell asleep. As I laid there, God reminded me of something He had spoken to me a week earlier at church on Sunday.
He spoke to me in such a sweet and tender way once again and said, “You are passed the honeymoon.” I didn’t quite understand what He meant the first time He whispered this to me, but now I get it.
I don’t need the emotional highs anymore. I don’t need my favorite song. I don’t need to see with my eyes what He has promised me. I don’t need to constantly hear Him and feel Him.
I don’t need a sunrise.
I have tasted and seen, and don’t need the bells and whistles, or any type of “production.” All that stuff is great and I love it all, but it’s not necessary to woo me anymore.
(I don't need the flowers, but it's always lovely receiving them!)
I am married now. I am anchored and in the thick of it. “Through sickness and in health.” Whoa, I actually kind of understand that now. I choose to be in it for the long haul, regardless of whether or not the sun rises.
I don’t need the sun to rise for me to know that He is good. I am already won over, and have moved passed all that gushy puppy love stuff.
