Sometimes it’s difficult for me to look outside of myself. Actually, I’ll admit that it’s hard most of the time. There are things I just don’t like. This includes bodily fluids, body malfunctions, anything abnormal (and sometimes normal) that the body does. I don’t like dirt. I don’t like slime. I don’t like foul smells. The list really does go on and on. Often times, it keeps me from embracing the things that need love and attention most. Like little children for example. I love the idea of children; the cute, cuddly, giggly things they do. But to really LOVE them? I don’t do that very well. Not yet at least.
Day one of our service here in Malaybalay was tough. My first shift lasted a measley 2 hours and I can honestly say I checked my watch at least 4-5 times, wondering how much time I had left. Not only did I change diapers, getting thrown up on and wipe snotty noses, but I held a baby that physically manifested several different kinds of allergic reactions. His scalp was peeling, bleeding and shedding leaving dead skin cells up and down my arm. He has several heat rashes in many different creases of his body. He has a cold complete with weezing and snotting. In every sense of the statement, it was hard for me. FOR ME. That’s what I thought about most of the time. How much this was uncomfortable for ME.
God is gripping my heart for his children. Everyday I've been given the chance to love on the unloved. Who am I to turn away the orphaned, the abused? Christ accepted me in my spiritual filth. And I have the audacity to judge HIs children because they don't meet my cleanliness standard? Growing up in America, we are spoiled. Running water, doctors, money, solitary space, I had all of this in abundance. If I went outside and got dirty, I touched nothing until I was rinsed off in the sink/shower. If I was sick or had a rash, I went to the doctor and then solitary confinement until healthy. That was my reality. Here, they don’t so much enjoy these luxuries. The only thing you can do is embrace everyone you meet; sweat, dirt, snot and all. It reminds me a lot of the way Christ embraces us; unclean. Who am I not to accept His children as they are? Christ loves. I am called to be like Christ. Therefore, I love. Well, learinng to love at least.
