Sorry it has taken me so long to post an update – lack of WiFi. This is also the first time I’m blogging on my phone, so let me know if the format is weird.
Atlanta > New York > 9 hour layover > 5 hour flight delay > Madrid, Spain > sleep in airport > bus to Pamplona (yes, where the bulls run)
We are walking along the Camino de Santiago from Pamplona to Burgos.
It is a pilgrimage known as the way of Saint James. There are several reasons people hike the Camino, but majority of the people are looking for something in life; sometimes that’s healing or something spiritual. It’s a great place to ponder the ways of the world and the universe. I mean you are walking miles and miles day after day. That equals a lot of time to just think!
Usually you make friends and walk and talk with them. Most people walk to the same towns each day so you see them every day. That’s how you make friends.
I haven’t made friends yet… because I walk too slow to walk with anyone. But God has been revealing things to me daily.
It amazes me at how seeking someone would have to be to do the Camino. It is not easy. Actually, I think this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done (although it hasn’t phased some). How badly someone would have to want to discover whatever it is awaiting them on this journey that they are willing to walk hundreds of miles and endure the pain.
Oh boy.
Our plan to share Jesus: Basically walk and talk with people. There are several hours and several days, and there have been many fruitful conversations and long relationships (from World Racers who did Camino ministry in the past) that come out this. We are planting, watering, and harvesting.
Also, it’s cool because there are about 34 of us spread out along the Camino so many times the same person will talk with many of us.
Here’s the routine of a typical day: wake up at 5, breakfast, walk for hours, find a place to stay, shower, hand wash clothes and hang them out to dry, maybe nap, rest, get food, sleep, repeat.
Day 1: 15 miles
My feet hurt and my body aches, but this is nothing compared to the weight of sins that crushed Jesus. I’m glad that I get to feel this pain because it makes what He went through more real to me when I get to experience pain like I’ve never experienced before. This is not saying that I would seek pain and suffering.
When walking I asked God what He wanted me to do. I felt like He simply just wanted me to walk with Him. If you read my last blog, I mentioned struggling with my concerns verses God’s concerns. So as I was walking with God, I asked Him what His concerns were. I heard, “you.” It was strange, so I asked what about me? The words that went through my mind were, “Let me heal you”. This was interesting to me because one of my prayers before leaving was that God would heal me in deeper ways than I knew I needed.
When we first started to walk, my hands started swelling. I assumed it had something to do with blood flow so I bent my elbows and held my hands up. It worked; the swelling went down. I did this occasionally throughout the day, and lifting my hands in this manner reminded me to praise God. His goodness, faithfulness, strength, protection, and just the way He has provided and answered my prayers.
I don’t really feel like I am in Spain. I feel like I am in another part of America… Except there are people who don’t speak English. Yes, Spain is beautiful, but there’s still grass and roads and people and trees and roses and mountains and the sky and sunshine. It’s still the earth. This might seem stupid, but I’ve realized that I’m not really in a foreign place. I’m still on the earth that God created.
We are staying at what’s called an Albergue. I don’t know what to compare it to so I’ll just describe it. Basically you walk in and pay for a bed. There are rooms with several bunk beds and you get where you get. I got in a room with a family, a couple, and another guy. Bathrooms and showers are all shared. Kinda weird. I was in the room and all of a sudden this guy starts stripping his clothes off. I guess that’s normal here?
Day 2: 13 miles
Slow and steady. Burn right. Today God taught me that I need to slow down and be patient. I have been running like crazy and on fire for God, but I need to slow down. Slow and steady. Slow and steady. Fire is useful, but can be dangerous. I have to navigate how to BURN for God. I learned this from my pace today. It was slow and steady with no rest breaks. I walked 13 miles by myself.
Today my feet hurt like crazy. I questioned why God has me here. Why am I walking 13 miles in the heat? What is the point of putting my body and my feet through this? I know there’s a purpose, but what is it? Then I had this thought. I have been reading through the book of Job. Job suffered and then he was restored. God is so gentle, and showed me He wants to heal me. What is this healing going to look like? Right now, I feel like it’s the opposite of healing.
The Albergue we are staying at is treating us like royalty. They won’t let us lift our bags, they are cooking us free breakfast, making sure we get plenty of rest, and draining/doctoring up our blisters. The kindness they have shown is so great.
Song of the day: My heart is yours. Lord my heart is yours. Take it all. Take it all. My life in your hands. All to Jesus I surrender, all to you I freely give. Oh I will ever love and trust you, in your presence I will live.
This was my anthem every time I lifted my hands. The swelling of my hands reminded me to praise God even in the suffering.
Day 3: 13 miles
The theme yesterday was slow and steady, like a snail. I found a snail on the trail today. I thought I was just going to carry it, but it carried me. When I picked up the snail I noticed the perfect design in it’s shell. The shell represented God. It was home for the snail inside. I sat a minute and watched as the snail moved across my hand. It was the first time I had rested from walking in two days. It was probably only a 5 minute rest, but it was much needed. So rest became my lesson for today. As I was walking, I noticed that the snail had died. To me, this was a symbol of dying to self. Today was like walking through a never ending desert.
I felt disconnected as a team. They were no where in sight. I did get a hint of community that day when I got to walk with Landry and Taylor. I learned it was much easier to carry on if you have people with you.
This afternoon the team chatted. We became more connected and aware of each other’s needs. This was a huge learning and turning point for us.
Day 4: 18 miles
We walked for 12 hours. 18 miles! So much pain, but in remembering the Camino, I know I won’t remember the pain. I’ll remember that it was painful, but I won’t be able to feel it anymore. I knew today was going to be a long day. I mean 18 miles. I felt God nudging me, saying if you just walk, I will give you strength. Today we walked as a team. I was the slowest and weakest on the team. It was hard to accept that. I didn’t want to hold anyone back, but my team lovingly let me lead the way to go at my pace. My team sacrificed for me today. That was hard for me because I want to be strong, but it showed the beauty of community. Austin sacrificed walking and talking with others. Emily sacrificed her fast pace. They all sacrificed their time. I can say I wouldn’t have made it without them.
Also.. I have bedbugs.
Day 5: Rest. Hallelujah!
I did a lot of observing today.
Culture: People dress like people in the States. They have Siesta every day. Places are closed and you rest from 2 or 3 o’clock to 5 o’clock. They eat late – like 8:00. I’ve eaten so much bread. The towns we’ve been through are quiet. The buildings are several stories high with balconies that usually have flowers on them. People speak Spanish. Currency is Euro.
Day 6: back at it. 8 miles.
It seemed like such a short day. We met up with another team and had a time of worship. It was a revealing time for me where God connected some dots. Remember day 1 about healing? And remember the day when I talked about no longer feeling the pain? I was reminded of some things from my past that I thought I had been healed of, but it came back up. During worship I realized that I would be healed from the pains of my past. The pains that have affected how I still live my life, love people, and let people into my life. God showed me that in the future I will look back on my life and know there was pain and hurt. I will remember it. But I will no longer be able to feel the pain when thinking of the memories.
During the time of worship, Val talked about how during a pilgrimage there are things you leave behind and things you pick up to take with you. On this journey I am leaving behind the pain in my past and picking up the healing and freedom that comes through Christ.
To seal it all, I was reminded through one of the songs that Jesus has paid it all. He has taken away the sins of my past. They do not define who I am, and I am pure because of the blood of Jesus.
Day 7: 16 miles
I can do hard things; things I didn’t think I could do. When I feel weak, my strength doesn’t come from God. My strength IS God. I wouldn’t change anything about walking along the Camino. I’m glad it was hard because if it wasn’t, I wouldn’t have learned as much as I did. If it was easy, I would have become prideful and boastful. But God knows who we are and just what we need when we need it. He is so good.
Don’t think it got easier to walk. It got harder and more painful each day.
Day 8: Change of plans. 4 miles.
We were supposed to walk two more days, but there was a change of plans. We ended up walking 4 miles to a bus station to get to Burgos a day early. But God is so good and has His hand in all of this! I’m not sure about the team, but I was looking forward to the day when we walked into Burgos and celebrated that we made it. We walked all those miles and finally finished! But since there were a change of plans, we didn’t get to have that moment. Why God? Because the journey isn’t over yet! We are not finished!
The Camino has been a journey to remember, and my team and I think it is a huge metaphor for what this year is going to be.
We will be bussing from Burgos to Mijas, Spain for a few days of training before heading to Morocco where we will spend 50 days.
God is the best love there is.
Check out other stories from people on my squad here.
Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.
2 Corinthians 12:9
