The mystery of Roland. In memory of Roland. The anointing of Roland. I didn’t know what to title this, so I just chose Roland.
This is a true story, even though I probably wouldn’t believe it if I heard it. My church can testify to most of it.
To this day, I am still confused. I don’t know what God’s purpose was. Maybe He was preparing me for something. I don’t know for sure. It is a mystery to me.
I was extremely young in the faith, and this experience was almost traumatizing to be honest.
I don’t even know why I am telling this story, but it is time.
It goes like this:
It was a Sunday morning. I was new to the Christian faith and did not attend church regularly. I usually stayed away at college, but this particular Sunday I was at church, sitting on the first row. The preacher stood up, and he was praying.
(I can feel my heart beating through my chest as I write this)
This little old man came to the front of the church. His hands and gaze were toward the heavens only for a moment. Something that looked like lightening came down from heaven and struck him. He fell to the ground in anguish.
He was wailing.
So loud it felt like.
He was begging God for something. As soon as he fell to the ground, maybe in the moment before that, something took over my body.
I stood up and started walking toward him.
I was crying before I got to him.
I remember I knelt on the ground beside him, crying, and praying that God would take away his suffering, that God would give him whatever he was crying out for.
My hand was on his back, and I prayed that he wouldn’t feel a human hand, but God’s hand on him. I felt like my arm was wrapped around him, and I remember grasping him telling him that he was going to be okay. I’m not sure if he heard me because we were both crying.
Mike Sheets came up and laid his hand on Roland. The next thing I know more people are coming. Pretty soon it seemed like the whole church was praying over Roland. Our Pastor, David Holder, got some oil, quoted the book of James, and put the oil on Roland. I think he got the oil from Mrs. Betty.
Everyone around us started going back to their seats. I remember Hershal gave me a hug. I won’t say what he spoke over me. I also remember Roland standing up. He looked at me, tears in his eyes, and I can’t explain it, but I saw his soul. It was the first time I had ever seen/felt/experienced that. Our eyes were locked only for a moment, and I went back to my seat wiping the tears from my eyes, not understanding what just happened.
The Pastor didn’t preach that Sunday morning.
We spent the entire church service in prayer – laying hands on people and anointing people with oil. That was new to me too; I had never seen anyone anointed. It was a special service and the Spirit of the Lord was surely upon us.
I didn’t go to church that Sunday night because I had traveled back to college. I don’t think I would have went anyway because I didn’t want to face any of those people.
That morning kept playing in my head over and over again. I was deeply troubled but didn’t dare speak of what happened.
I didn’t know Roland. I had never seen or spoken to him. I didn’t even know his name until the next day… Monday.
The next day… Monday.
I was at college.
I was sitting in the dorm by myself.
I was scrolling through Facebook.
I saw where several of the church members had shared a post about a missing man. He looked “familiar”.
I took a screenshot and sent it to Taylyn. Taylyn was my roommate and the one who invited me to church.
I asked her if I knew this person from her church.
…
She said, “Yes” or maybe she said, “Yes, that’s the man you prayed for” (my memory is a little foggy on that detail)
Nevertheless, I knew exactly who it was. And I had this instant feeling of knowing he was at peace. I can’t explain it, it was just there.
As if I wasn’t already puzzled enough… yeah… What are you telling me God?
I mean this was the very next day!!!
This little old man is missing! All I know is I don’t know him, I prayed over him, and now he is missing! I think the Facebook post said something about him having seizures, so I knew that about him. Sum total of what I knew.
I felt like police were going to come question me at any time.
I tried to get it off my mind, but nothing worked.
My mom text me… “Do you know this person?”
“No”
Because I didn’t. I had never spoken to him and he didn’t exist to me until the day before.
Tuesday goes by…
I ask Taylyn if they found him yet. She said no.
I knew he was going to be okay.
Wednesday comes…
Taylyn walks in the room.
“Did you hear?”
“Hear what?”
“The found Roland.”
“Is he okay”
“The cleaning lady at the church found him. Andrew was there. He is dead.”
“So he’s okay.”
She gave more detail, but I can’t write it. Not here.
I didn’t go back to church for a long time.
The first time I went back to the church after that was for the Pig Roast we had; almost 2 months later.
It felt weird walking up. I hadn’t seen any of the church people since all of it happened.
I felt kind of guilty. I didn’t want to be blamed for something; not that people could blame me for anything, but I had that feeling.
I felt like people were staring at me. They probably weren’t.
I thought I was over Roland, but at the service there was a time to remember all those who had died the past year. I thought to myself that Roland wouldn’t be in the list because it hadn’t been that long.
It had…
Every time I hear his name, I have to fight back tears.
His name holds such a vivid memory to me.
Man, it’s such a mystery of why God put me through that.
Just for a timeline…
God did something spectacular: September 4, 2016
Roland went missing and died: September 5, 2016
Roland was found dead: September 7, 2016
I went back to church: October 29, 2016
The following January I was baptized.
…
There’s one more time I saw Roland. I have only told three people about this part (Kim Everett, Taylyn, and Dillon).
I saw Roland again.
It was at college sometime that next semester. I could tell he wasn’t in this physical world, but I could also tell that it was him because I had seen his soul. He looked extremely happy and peaceful.
Confused? Yes
Thinking it wasn’t possible? Yes
But I know for sure, God wanted to show me where Roland was.
So that ends the story… for now at least.
I often wonder if anyone in that church saw what I saw.
Did anyone see something strike Roland from heaven?
I have so many questions.
This was very painful for me to write. Most of it was typed with my eyes closed because I’m sobbing.
This might sound crazy, but it’s true.
I write this before I lay my head down tonight because I feel it’s time. It is January 2018 now, and Roland’s name was mentioned tonight at church.
When I hear that name, that Sunday morning service plays in my head again…
Over
And
Over
And
Over
Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise. Hebrews 10:23
