I am a passionate person, but I am also cautious. I will jump off bridges and out of planes, yet sometimes I am not good at taking risks.
Saying, “I am going on the World Race” has been difficult for me. Until the past couple of months, it didn’t look like I was going on the World Race. Funds were not coming in and I couldn’t see the possibility. I like to see, I am a big fan of seeing.
My hesitation comes from how I present myself. What if I put myself out there and it doesn’t happen? What if it doesn’t come together? What if I look like a fool?
These are all the questions I tend to ask myself.
I have to put this aside. Yes, things are now shaping up more than they were. It looks as if I am going on #11in11. But that’s not the point. The point is to believe something so fiercely, to run toward it with all you have. I was reading blogs and stumbled upon the verse, “Whatever turns up, grab it, and do it. And heartily!” Ecclesiastes 9:10 MSG. I love this. This is how I want to live. I think this is how most people believe I live, but I do not feel it. I continue forward with much trepidation, preparing myself for the worst. This is not a way to live; this is not living fully.
Roald Dahl said, “I began to realize how important it was to be an enthusiast in life. If you are interested in something, no matter what it is, go at it full speed. Embrace it with both arms, hug it, love it, and above all become passionate about it. Lukewarm is no good.”
Just because I am saying this does not mean I have mastered it. I am admitting it as something I need to become better at. My passion shows on the outside, but oftentimes I am talking it down on the inside as to not become disappointed.
I want to quit doing this. I want to live fully engaged. I want to go after what I want full speed, without looking back. If something doesn’t work out, I want to act like I cared and mourn it instead of shrugging and saying, “It’s okay.”
What is something that you tried to put on a ‘game face’ for when it did not work out? How did you really feel? What is something you have wanted more than anything and did you pursue it?
