Friends, I survived training camp.
For those of you who don’t know, I recently returned from a ten day training camp for the world race in Gainsville, Georgia.
And, training camp was a lot of things.
Training camp was bucket showers, and communal food. Training camp was sharing your presumably two- person tent with three other people. Training camp was everything you own get stained with Georgia dirt beyond recognition. Training camp was involuntarily running at 7AM when you are neither a runner… or a morning person.
But, more than all of those things,
Training camp was doubt and uncertainty —
— covered in immeasurable peace:
At some point during the first few days of training camp I had a long overdue meltdown that had been brewing since before I even stepped foot in Georgia, built upon weeks of worry and fear. It’s true, I had a full-on weepy, messy meltdown somewhere, alone, in the middle of Georgia’s bug- infested backwoods. (true life: I literally remember frantically trying to re-apply bug spray in the middle of said breakdown) I’d only been there for a couple days and, already, I felt drained in every way a person is able to. I genuinely wanted to go home. I begged for affirmation that this was, indeed, His will for me. And, in a brief moment, in which, I silenced my internal screaming and chaos, God spoke to me clearer than he ever has: “Have I not brought you this far? Why don’t you trust that I can take you further?” From that moment forward, I began to grasp that this is not a journey I can complete with my own strength, my own will, or my own understanding. God, alone, is my strength. God, alone, will sustain me. When we try to solely rely on our own strength and control, it opens doors for doubt and fear to seep in.
Training camp was freedom:
For ten days, I consistently and continuously made my heart open and available to others’. For ten days, I shared my heart, my pain, my mess with people I did not know and, in return, received overwhelming love and grace. For ten days, each of us were challenged to not only acknowledge the good, the beautiful, and the wonderful- but also, the ugly, the difficult, and the scary. One day, in particular, two of my dear friends (and team mates) and myself wandered to a spot where shade just barely crept out of the woods. And, for a few hours, we sat there and unloaded our burdens to one another. In the same way that you unpack a stuffed- full bag after a long trip- taking out one item at a time, acknowledging it, and then laying it down. For a few hours, we listened and barely spoke. For a few hours, we practiced togetherness amidst mess and brokenness. And when all was said and done, we spoke love over one another, and then, we laughed as the burdens that once held such weight over our lives didn’t seem quite as heavy. (I thought about saying a thing about how our burdens began to melt away as we, also, melted away because it was NINETY- SIX DEGREES. But, I’ll spare you.)
Lastly, training camp was community:
At some point around night four, I broke into my clif bar stash for the very first time. I handed one to three other women on my squad (important life tip: snacks get ya friends) and at 11pm we stood outside my tent, inhaling clif bars at an alarmingly quick rate, and laughing until our stomachs hurt and tears began to well up in our eyes at the absolute absurdity of our present situation. It was in that moment that I fully grasped the beauty and importance of community, for the first time. Community is there to love you well through difficult things and to revel and celebrate with you in the beautiful things. But, my favorite of all: sometimes community is for when you just need to eat a dang clif bar and have a good laugh cry.
Another night- one in which we found ourselves deep within Georgia’s backwoods with only two tarps for shelter… it rained. Hard. Soaked from head to toe, we joined hands. Soft voices turned into joyful praises that just barely rose above the slashing of the rain against the tarp.
I think that’s a beautiful picture of all that training camp was.
Brokenness, uncertainty, and fear that turned into praise and joyful dancing.
God showed up in beautiful ways throughout those ten days in Georgia.
And, He is going to do unimaginably beautiful things in the upcoming year, and I am so unbelievably excited to be along for the ride.
(quick note to any future racers: if, at any point, you find yourself at training camp- you will have doubt, and/or you will want to go home. But, I promise, if you stick it out, there is freedom waiting on the other side, and it’s beautiful.)
Some updates
- I am officially leaving the country in FOUR WEEKS!! We will be doing youth ministry for the first three weeks in Antigua, Guatemala.
- I am a little over 60% funded!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you to anyone and everyone who has supported me thus far. I am so grateful for you. (I, also, recently finished my Thank You cards. They’re comin’ for ya!)
- I still need to raise about $5,000 to reach my final goal. If you feel led to donate, you can do so by clicking the “support me” button in the top-right-hand corner of this page!
Please continue to keep my team and I in your prayers as we prepare to leave.
Thank you for all of your love and support.
