I have been reading a few interesting books lately. Actually, I’m guilty of having a few books going at the same time. Two of them are The book of the Shepherd by Joann Davis and Love Does by Bob Goff. Having applied and been accepted to the World Race and starting to fundraise others have asked me, why this trip? Why now? And to be honest I have been asking myself the same questions. One of my best friends is completing her PhD in Biology and is currently living in England, another just finished law school and is studying for her board exam while planning her wedding for later this summer. My best guy friend works for the Mexican government, another friend from college got married and now lives in Uganda teaching at an International school. Others are working their way up the corporate ladder, some are stay at home parents, and some have started NGOs and move so often I’m never sure where they are except for occasional posts to facebook. No matter where they are, whether still in school or out, everyone seems to have found their niche, all except for me. Don’t get me wrong, in the years since college I lived in Seattle for 2 years, moved back home for 2 years when my parents house burned down and am now living in Tennessee. I have learned a ton about myself and about other people in that time but I still haven’t found where I fit, where my restless self can take a breath and say, “Ok, this is it, I’ve arrived.”
My whole life people have told me, “Walk your own path” or “You’re fine doing what you’re doing” or the usual “We just want you to be happy whether you’re pumping gas for $.05 an hour or a millionaire.” The gas pumping and millionaire are interchangeable for other desirable and non-desirable professions but we all get the point. Everyone means well but eventually the comments rank right up there with, “Well, they have a great personality.” Not that I’m against pumping gas. I have learned, as cliché as it sounds, money doesn’t bring happiness but instead it’s feeling that we have accomplished something, that our showing up to work mattered. Which is where book number one comes in, The book of the Shepherd by Joann Davis. I found a small phrase on page 75 that really resounded with me. It really summed up what people have been trying to tell me all these years, but I was too focused on what others were doing and what I wasn’t to really listen.
“A man must walk only his own path,’ said the Blind Man. ‘Never another’s or his feet
will grow tired and sore. And he will feel lost even when he arrives.’ “
I like that. The “path” isn’t wrong or right, better or worse, just yours and mine. Maybe this is a no-brainer to everyone else and it isn’t really a big game changer, just more of a reassurance I guess. Which brings me to why am I doing the World Race, and why now? I could give specific reasons why I applied such as my love of the Hispanic culture, my love of traveling, or my desire to help and serve people. I could also give not as specific reasons, ones that aren’t measureable such as excitement or peace about the trip. I don’t know anyone who has done this trip before, I don’t know what to expect, and I certainly can’t predict how much I’ll grow and change during the 11 months that I’m away. But it’s going to be such a great adventure! In Love Does by Bob Goff he says:
“Every day God invites us on the same kind of adventure. It’s not a trip where He
sends us a rigid itinerary, He simply invites us. God asks what it is He’s made us to
love, what it is that captures our attention, what feeds that deep indescribable
need of our souls to experience the richness of the world He made. And then,
leaning over us, He whispers, ‘Let’s go do that together.’… It’s not all planned out for us
either and that’s where most people get too nervous to take the next step. But know
this: when Jesus invites us on an adventure, He shapes who we become with what
happens along the way.”
If you know me, you know that I’m a huge planner…and if you haven’t noticed you will soon enough. I love to plan. I plan so I can avoid awkward moments, loose ends, and unhappy endings. I want to be in charge so I know all the small details will be taken care of. Sometimes, however, I have been guilty of planning the fun right out of the adventure. In this case, with my trip in January, there’s hardly anything I can plan, because very little if any of it is in my hands. I don’t have all the answers like how I’ll be able to raise over $13,000, what I will encounter while on the trip, or what the heck I’ll do when I get back. How am I going to pack everything I could possibly need in just a backpack and a carry on? Later on in the chapter, Bob Goff continues with:
“Most great adventures work that way. You don’t plan them, you don’t wait to get all
the details right, you just do them… Jesus’ disciples saw joy and suffering, triumph and
tragedy, and in the end there was just a man, an idea, and an invitation without a lot of
details. Yet they didn’t need all the details because they were on an adventure with a
father who wanted to take them. You don’t need to know everything when you’re with
someone you trust.”
Are you sure? I would feel a whole lot more comfortable if I knew all the details and could avoid any bad or unpleasant surprises. Another thing about planning is you don’t have to trust or rely on others who might let you down. But this is supposed to be an adventure and while World Race alumni or staff is always available to help, some answers I won’t get until I’m in the country, face-to-face with a situation I hadn’t planned on. Part of me is excited; the other side is absolutely terrified that it’ll be something that I won’t know how to handle. “Jesus doesn’t invite us on a business trip. Instead He says let’s go after those things that inspire and challenge you and let’s experience them together.” (Love Does) And it’ll be an experience, that’s for sure. However, saying that I am going to give up my planning OCD-ness is much easier than actually doing it so I’ll let you know how it goes. Hahahaha
