“Identity.” This is who we are and how we see ourselves. At 22 almost 23 I thought I had that figured out-who I was, how I saw myself and even how I assumed others saw me. It’s crazy how we can go so long thinking one way about ourselves while God is smiling down because he knows we haven’t scratched the surface yet. In the last weeks God has shown me that my true self lacks confidence. That I don’t speak my thoughts thoughts out of some kind of fear that my words are not that important. That because I’m so quiet natured- being in this group of girls, I had fear of becoming invisible. Be ready when you ask God to wreck you because He will show up and reveal hard but needed truths. Before coming on this trip people asked and I did as well what I would walk away with afterwards. For God’s kingdom I prayed for a bold spirit to spread the Lords gospel to others -to start the conversation. For myself I wasn’t sure, and I think that allowed me to go into this journey with and open heart for what God would reveal to me. It’s amazing that the word “boldness” is what I wanted for His kingdom and its exactly the same as what he wants for me. God has shown me through his Holy Spirit and the words and love our my team mates that I have things to offer the world. That my words and presence even in the biggest of rooms is still felt and important. We evangelized in the town of Puerto Viejo a couple of days ago-asking God and the Holy Spirit to lead us to who ever needed his gospel, truth and love that day. I felt the Holy spirit telling me to go down a particular street, but out of uncertainty of if I was really hearing God of if it was just myself, I kept walking. As my group and I kept walking pass the street I felt a sense of regret. What would of happened if I trusted that that small feeling, if I acted with boldness and told my group I was being pulled in that direction?I don’t know, maybe someone was there that needed a word of encouragement, a prayer for peace or just someone to listen maybe there wasn’t. When talking to one of my team leaders she encouraged me not to be discouraged. That hearing then acting on the Holy Spirit was a muscle that would get easier the more I practiced. So that’s where I am right now, growing in boldness and choosing to truly embrace this season of singleness to see myself as God does.
