For anyone who bought an ornament from me or a t-shirt that I sold for fundraising, you saw that the words God spoke over me for this year are adventure, freedom, and growth.
And boy, is He already working wonders in these areas.
In the ministry where we are now, City of Refuge Ministries, in Ghana, there are many children who have been rescued out of slavery. We are near fishing villages of Lake Volta, so many mothers end up selling or giving their children to fishermen, without knowing that they are literally selling their children into slavery. My heart breaks at the very thought of these circumstances, and it has been surreal to interact with these precious children each day who possess abounding joy and laughter in spite of their stories.
For me, I have never been caught in physical slavery, but I believe that throughout my life I have been a slave to many different things. My passion for this ministry is growing and growing, and I know that God will use this month to continue to reveal how He will break me from the slavery I have experienced myself.
For as long as I can remember I have been attached to achievement-based living. A major part of my testimony is that I often think I am defined by how well I excel in activities and talents and leadership roles— anything to align with my perfectionist tendencies. From that, I often let it carry over into my relationship with God as well. I thought if only I can check this off the list, if I could try a little harder and prove how well I’ve mastered this Christian thing, THEN I will receive more grace or He will love me more. Though I know the concept of grace so fully now, I often feel myself slipping back into this legalistic and achievement-based thinking. Since coming on the Race, however, God has been working in my heart every day regarding this mindset.
I stumbled across a book title a couple of weeks ago that read, Wild and Free: A Hope-Filled Anthem for the Woman Who Feels She is Both Too Much and Never Enough, and I immediately clicked to read the description. Reading it this week has impacted my heart in such deep and meaningful ways.
So much of what the authors, Jess Connolly and Hayley Morgan, say resonated deeply with my struggles and the hope that I am experiencing as I lean into living wild and free as the Lord has made me and you and all of His children.
For me, not only had I created a perfectionistic, legalistic picture of what my life was supposed to look like as a daughter of God, but also there was so much that the world was telling me to be, too. There is a voice for every situation that is shouting who I am supposed to be and what I am supposed to look like, but I choose to listen to the whisper of my Beloved instead. He whispers freedom where there was slavery and calls me back to being wild as He is wild rather than living with a spirit of timidity. Maybe you don’t have the same struggle as I do, but I bet you have some kind of struggle that seems to be a theme of your life- worry, fear, shame, pride (and the list goes on and on). But I pray that you would also listen to the whisper from our Savior rather than the shouts of society, false words in the church, and the harsh voice in your head.
Sometimes it’s hard to hear the whisper over the shouting, but there are some words from our God that we can confidently say are true. One of them is the beautiful word that the Creator has spoken over each of us— tob, the Hebrew word meaning “beautiful, pleasant, rich, better, best.” When God finished with His creation, this is what He spoke and what He meant. You are good, because He made you good, in His image, and therefore, you are enough. In Wild and Free, Hayley says, “Isn’t it amazing to think that we spend so much of our lives on this quest for the best when God has already declared it of us, His workmanship— the best?” Uh. Yes. I needed this. In my head, I know that I am handcrafted by my God, and I even love to speak it over others to remind them of their goodness in the Lord. But how many minutes of the day do I spend striving and trying and chasing and attempting to perfect my life when it’s already been called good? When I really should be always simply abiding in the Spirit? In my mind and in my heart, I hope to fully embrace that He has made me good, wild, and free.
There’s a part of the book that I think may have been written directly to me, and I hope you can find comfort in it, too—
“What if you tried serving or getting up an hour earlier or reading that self-help book or trying that new face wash? Then, finally, one day, you might be your own self— radiant, at ease, best, better, beautiful.
But Jesus says no. You are not “too much” for His love and grace, and you have never been “not enough” for His affection and devotion. it isn’t your goodness that drew Him to you, and God’s love isn’t dependent on your ability to stay inside the lines and hold it all together. He didn’t just happen to cover your sin. He went to earth on a mission, spurred on by the great love and glory of your heavenly Father, and His death was not in vain… You can stop running, stop striving, stop hoping that one day you’ll be the better or best version of yourself. You can walk away from comparison, throw shame in the trash, and stop skipping around worrying about whose toes you step on. Because of Jesus, we don’t have to try so hard.”
Isn’t that SUCH good news? I read this and quite literally feel a weight lift off my shoulders. You might be feeling that weight all too often as well, but I pray that when we start to feel the heaviness of it all, we would read this again and be reminded that we are invited to rest and take hold of His easy yoke and light burden. (Matthew 11:28-30)
Even more, I so often need to be reminded that it’s not about me anyway.
The author points out the need “to ask for eyes to see that the main character of this story is our Father— relaxed and at ease, not striving or fearful of what is going to come of His production. Holy and perfect. Creative and intentional. Artistic and almighty. And like when we read a book from a different perspective, we can really hear what His voice sounded like when it declared all that He’d made to be good.”
We must see that the main character of this story is the good, good Creator, and then I pray that He would make my heart like His— one that beats wild with love for His creation and His glory, free from fear and striving.
It is often so much easier said than done to rest in being called good, wild, and free. It’s something I struggle with every day, but I pray that we can peel away expectations that are not of God, layer by layer, in order to truly become who He wants us to be. And I am beyond excited to step into the freedom of this over the next 10 months as I learn more and more from our God who is never lacking in wisdom and mercy. His storehouses of good and perfect gifts are limitless, so I pray that you would also ask Him to show you how you’re wild and free, too. Then, we can all thank Him together for what good gifts He’s bestowed upon us— the ultimate and most important one being salvation through the sacrifice of Jesus that freely brings us near.
There is a “Wild and Free Anthem” that is included in the book that I hope to speak over everyone who reads this. You are not too much. You are enough. We are both of these things because the blood of Jesus covers over all of our faults and failures and weaknesses, and thanks be to God that His “power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9). You don’t have to think, “oh, I could never be wild,” because actually God has already made you wild. You don’t have to wish, “oh, I wish to be free,” because in Jesus, you immediately are free.
“For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5:1
That’s it! We have been set free for freedom. That’s what our Savior desperately wants for us and speaks over all of us every moment. So, let’s start speaking it over ourselves and each other in the valleys, on the mountaintops, and every place in between.
The world may tell us we’re too much and never enough.
But we can walk wildly in who God created us to be and rest freely in the work Jesus did for us.
We do not have to be confined or conformed by cultural expectations.
We are unchained from our past and unafraid of our future.
We choose compassion over comparison.
We love without condition, without reserve.
Our eyes are on God; we hold nothing back;
we run fast and strong; we do not hide our light.
We aren’t wild and free for our sake along;
rather we sing life, hope, and truth over the world with abandon— just as our God sings over us.
We are wild and free.
And we are poised to do mighty things, in Christ alone.
I’m so thankful that our God is the God who cares about every kind of freedom- spiritual, physical, emotional, psychological. So, I’m thankful to catch a glimpse of many of these this month, and I can’t wait to continue sharing my experience! Here are a few prayer requests & basic information on what life looks like here:
- We are working in Faith Roots International Academy, a part of City of Refuge Ministries, and the school year starts on Tuesday! Prayers for the year ahead, the teachers, and the students would be appreciated. (I’m specifically working with 17 students in 4th grade!)
- Every Friday, we will be leaving campus to go into the villages for evangelism— that people we speak to will have open hearts, minds, and that the Spirit will lead us in good conversations
- For my team as well as the other team we are here with— that we will be intentional with our time here each day, that we will have good rest, and that God will show us big and good things through our busy and full schedule this month
- For continued funding of building projects of City of Refuge— they are in the middle of building a church and prayer room and are in the works of breaking ground on a medical clinic and high school
