Over the past few weeks, I’ve been trying to come up with a deep thought-provoking blog, or some sort of information to share. To be completely honest, I’m not really one who does a lot of deep thinking or asking at all. I’m a ‘give me straight questions and answers’ type of person. I’ve had several times in the past few weeks where I was thinking so much and into reasonings and what-if’s. A big topic which seemed to be the most blaring and Final result is Trust. Now, I do know Faith is also co-existing with Trust, but I’m gonna focus more on Trust with this topic.
While my mind was all in a big ‘ol wad and I was trying to make a mountain out of a mole hill, which my momma would say. It just made me stress and frustrated as usual, but I couldn’t really get to an answer of the confusion in my head. Why am I having such a debate in my head? Well, it’s basically coming down to how in the world does one simply Rely fully on God for Everything!?
Key word is “Simply,” because it just baffles my mind at the concept of putting forth all my Trust, and faith, into HIM. Now saying it and hearing of “all you have to do is Trust in God”. It sounds So simple! However, when it comes to where the wheels meet the road, so to speak, exemplifying that exact simple Trust in a Real World example is just so hard!
Why do I and other people make it so hard? Well for me it’s because I’m a planner. Not to the very little detail, but I like to kind of see and expect just a little of what’s ahead and how I may be able to react/prepare for the outcome. For example; teaching 40 Kindergartners how to throw a frisbee for the very first time and it is your Final Observation as a Student Teacher. Oh that was just a “please shoot me now” experience …. At Times! In the end I was very grateful to Pass and the kids seemed to get the “idea”…haha…Kindergartners and frisbees..what joy
So when I read or talk to friends who put every single nerve at rest (it seems) and Trust God will come through it “blows my mind” (Neal Anthony quote). As a Christian, yes I’ve had discussion and heard sermons MANY times on the importance and how to Trust and have Faith in God. When I think about it as a Whole Perspective, I don’t think I’m the only one with the problem.
Reason Why I am struggling with it to a certain degree, is because I Want to get to that point where the people I’ve read and talked to are in Complete Trust (where they don’t hold back, hesitate, or fear). I am a hesitant and fearing person, it’s just how I grew up. So the process of just saying all of a sudden “OK God I trust You Completely, whatever happens is whatever gonna happen, because You said and know it will be that way” just makes me go…uhhhhhh.
YES I feel sort of ashamed just a little bit I can’t be like this….yet. I am, along with everyone else going on this trip, putting full Faith and Trust God will work through us and in others to be fully Funded in order to give us the ability to go on this “adventure”.
I WANT to just Let Go of Every fear and outcome of situations and decisions, but it’s a tough mental process. I KNOW that once I do, God will take me and I will experience the “unbelievable”. Yes it will be a Tough Road…Who Said It was gonna be EASY!?…No ONE! The closer we get to God, the rougher and more spiritually tested we are, so we rely more and more on HIM. I know many of my friends are aware of this “process” and there are others who have no clue what I’m talking about.
I get so confused in my head several times I forget why I get confused in the first place…..haha…it’s a hard life being Beans sometimes. I’m not a very good critical thinker, but Oh Well. In the end, it all Basically comes down to Us as Humans “letting Go of fears and hesitations” and “grabbing on to God”….COMPLETELY. I understand Everyone has a different “where I stand with this topic” and it’s something everyone as a Christian has to work on too.
This topic can be used along with so many other Big Topics which I’m thinking of as I attempt to explain my thoughts in this blog, but I do feel like it could be a lot to “digest” in one sitting.
The main thing of what everything comes down to is, How Much One Trusts God is How More ‘Free’ they will become.
Prayer request I do WANT to add is a good friend who is completely “SOULED OUT”, but still suffers from just their body being attacked by all sorts. They’re physically and mentally tired all the time and can’t really be as Up Beat as they want to be with teammates and the locals.
Amy Davidson is….awesome…and is in need of prayer too
http://amydavidson.theworldrace.org/
