It’s what I call this place I’m currently in within my bedroom. The design of my bedroom has this random hole in the side, which I’ve placed my desk. It’s quiet now, I’m home alone, and staring out my window…thinking. When’s the last time you had complete silence? Away from your phone that is So powerful that we don’t really fathom what 1 can do with it…while in this cubby hole.
I see 2 houses, my saturn vue, our 2 fake deer in the round-about driveway, finches flitting about, leaves occasionally moving about due to a gentle breeze, and woods. I’m thankful for the ability to see. My eyes are wearing down, slowly but gradually. Taking things in mentally of the “What if I won’t be able to see again”…from this cubby hole.
I think of how many people are afraid to be alone. I can relate. I want to be noticed, acknowledged that I exist in this world, have a part in it, and the craving for others to communicate with me. I look at this so-called “to do list” I’ve made up and think the question WHY to do it? What if I don’t do it? I’ll still exist right? I think of how I can create an interest of my new endeavors I’m trying to pursue to get Help, but at the same time I Know I Have to go Out and put a lot of effort into it. All this pondering while in this cubby hole.
I have flashes of images within my brain of what I could envision myself doing. Passions being fulfilled, goals being met, but all this due to effort and action. I notice the newest trend trending, the activity of success or failure being presented, the latest post catching others attention, the next video being controversial, and all this happening “out there” while in this cubby hole.
Eventually one will have to make up their mind and get out of this cubby hole. Maybe go find somewhere else to enjoy the nature and the quietness. I can’t sit here forever. I don’t know what’ll happen from my actions, but I know it’ll be a lot better than sitting here thinking that stupid “What If”.
Enough of this thinking…time to go do Insanity…Not in this cubby hole.
