I was in Boy Scouts for 7 years. The highest rank is Eagle Scout, and
the biggest thing to achieve that rank is conducting and leading a
“service project” I was not granted “success” on my first project. I
worked so hard to even get to that point (5-6 years). I spent a lot of
time meeting people, planning the layout of my project (took at least 4 months to complete overall), getting
organizations to donate supplies (several hundred dollars worth), having
people come and assist me in completing my project, and so much more.
Then, to get denied for it saying I didn’t display enough “leadership”
was literally a slap in the face. I could have easily said “screw this” and walked off, or I get back to planning another project. The 2nd try was a success, thank goodness. I was committed to earning the rank of Eagle Scout. I didn’t back down. A little part of me wanted to. It also took me 2 tries to pass my Student Teaching in college for my degree. I was so close to graduating, but I got denied due to my inability to meet their standards. It was really tough. However, I got myself together again and dominated the 2nd & last try in student teaching (you only get 2 chances).
That 1 word…Commitment. Does it make you shudder, or your mind goes haywire with all the thoughts it could possibly mean? Whether it’s with school, job/career, relationship, or whatever you want to fill in the blank of things that seriously require one to be committed to see it through.
If you Google “Fear of Commitment”…you immediately get lists and lists of relationship questions and situations. Relationships are a Big Deal! We put almost too much of our time focusing on who we want to be with and playing scenarios in our heads. I won’t consider myself “brilliant” in relationships hence I’ve never dated, but I can tell you from personal experience what I’ve seen works and doesn’t work through my friends healthy and God-centered relationships.
WHY? Why do so many people run from or are so sketchy about being committed to something? May be culturally. If you were brought up in an environment where you saw others dropping out and leaving at the first signs of bad times, one may act likewise. We don’t want to be apart of something that looks bad when it goes through difficult times. No way! We can’t afford to look bad! (sarcasm)….but this is Especially for us MEN. Yes, I’m calling you out again.
The fear is rooted in failure, at least I believe so. We’re afraid to have to deal with difficult things, that our “dream/goal” will not come into existence after working so hard towards it, and a Ton of other Good EXCUSES to not pursue things. WE CARE MORE ABOUT OUR COMFORT THAN CHARACTER. Let that sink into your skull and question yourself if that how your lifestyle is. We grow more during difficult/trying times, and see things through.
The Cure: Trust/Faith. No matter what. We believe in God based on our Faith in Him and trusting He will take care of us as we live these lives and afterwards. It’s so Mind-Boggling! God says He will Never Leave nor Forsake us. Be encouraged! Take Heart!
Maybe you’ve never had any significant situation where someone or thing was there to pick you up or catch you when you’ve fallen. This has left you scarred and unable to really Trust Anyone or thing in your life. You’ve never experienced the ability to relax and Know people have your back no matter what happens. I’m truly sorry.
The “What If” Disease.
This can go in either way. Mostly bad, because we live in this world where so much is focused on the negative around us. When thinking with a negative “what if” mindset, goals seem so difficult and really far away. It’s the easy way out. It’s so easy to think of all the pessimistic and negative lies Satan’s continually feeding us to demotivate us. To think “oh how horrible this situation is”, “I can’t figure this out”, “I’m not good at anything”, and other lousy…”Rubbish” as Jesus calls it in the Bible.
With a positive “What if” mindset, you think of all the Great possibilities of what could happen through ones actions towards…whatever it may be. “Dreamers” fit into this grouping. One may start thinking the “bigger picture”, and envisioning all the Good that could come out of a difficult situation. You share positive ideas, start getting excited, and act with a discerning mindset. God will reveal to you opportunities, however it may take a leap of faith/action to see what He Sees. Just ask Him. He’s right there waiting for you to talk to Him.
Options. Sometimes we have so many options, we don’t know which to pick. Maybe, we have no clue to what we want career wise to do and where we want to go. I have been in this situation a few times. Here’s my advice. PICK SOMETHING AND DO IT. If it you have put all your effort into whatever it is, it runs out, and/or you realize it’s not for you, then ok. God may be shutting that door, and look for another one. Analyze if there were any parts of the job, career, activity that you did enjoy and look for it in other fields of activity.
I like how Francis Chan says in his Crazy Love book to FORGET ABOUT GOD’S WILL FOR YOUR LIFE. That’s a tough pill to swallow, but seriously. Focus on today and what is at hand, how you are able to use your skills and abilities to bring Him Glory.
Be supportive of each other. Pray for each other on difficult decisions. Don’t tell your friend/whoever it may be to pick a really stupid/not well thought option.
In conclusion, if you’re in the middle of reaching a goal (job/career/), then keep at it. Keep that goal, whatever it may be, of your vision & objective to reach during the really not-fun times in the for-front. If you are unsure of what opportunity to pursue, pick something that will push and challenge you, and at the same time you’re able to use your skills and abilities. Just pick something. Sitting there is the worst option. Again if it’s about relationships, confide in Good friends and most certainly go to God with it.
