This blog is something I’ve been contemplating for about half a year, so yea this is a Pretty Big Deal. Also, from my experience I really hope people reading this will look at their lives and question if they’re living with a False Identity.
After much prayer and discussion, I will no Longer introduce myself as “Beans”. Yea, for my close friends from college, you’re probably thinking “but calling you your real name is so Weird”. For you who’ve called me Beans as long as you’ve known me, it’s gonna be your decision. However, you Must know that My Name is BRIAN and I’m gonna Claim it.
Why the change? Well, it’s a Lot of factors and ways God has been getting to me about this. “Beans” was my false identity I Hid Behind. Even though I still acted my normal self, however why did I hide behind it? Well, for Many Years whenever I would hear being called my real name, I would Immediately feel like I was back in middle school. Satan played with my mind for Way too long, and it was SO Drilled in my head that when I heard my real name I would feel like I did then: Ignored, Immature, Pathetic, Weak, I have no voice, Not Approved, and the list goes on and on.
Ever since about 9th grade I’ve had a little card my parents gave me that what Brian means, and that is Strength & Honor. For So Many years I thought of the card and my name and just lived in a LIE that I was Never Those 2 things. For years I felt like “Beans” was kinda like a New Beginning for me when I went to college, because I sort of got away from all the Crap I grew up in. However, now I have realized all that Crap I “ran away” from, I had been carrying on my back for years, like a dead body…yea sick.
For my friends now who are trying to decipher what to call me, well try your best in calling me Brian. It will probably be the weirdest thing ever, but do your best. I know it will cause a mix-up for people, especially one’s who got a shirt for supporting me on this trip. However, I’m going down a path God’s calling me on, no matter what the World may say to me. Since being on the World Race, I’ve been living in such close community where Everyone Calls me Brian. It Has Been So Empowering and Encouraging. I Understand and Walk with Knowing that My Name “Brian” is what God Calls me…Not Beans.
Reading Wild at Heart surely did make me question So Much about my identity. I was also so blessed to have my teammates definitely speak Life into me. It was really the first time people really went out of their way to tell me what they saw in me from God. What’s crazy is that So Many people nowadays walk with some sort of False Identity that they have Believed in for Most of their life, and honestly it’s a Lie from Satan. I Understand now that Satan Does Not Want You to Know What God Calls You. Why? Simple, cuz then You know your True Identity in Christ and able to discern more from the Stupid Lies that Satan Continuously Feeds us to bring us Down.
For guys, many of us nowadays put on a persona that Everything is Great and we have no problem with life. Men may cover up their true self with ones Actions, Words, a Name, and more. In reality YOU ARE FAKE!!! However, on the inside they are Terrified of what others will see in their True Identity. Why are we as Men Scared of what showing our True Selves? Cuz we will be Vulnerable. No man really Enjoys being Vulnerable. However, if You are to Walk in What God calls you, You Must Get Vulnerable. Sorry to break the news to you, but yea MAN UP.
A question I want you to ask yourself, that I ask myself very often is the Last Thing Satan Wants you to Know. “God What Do You Call Me?” “What Do You See In Me?” Stick with these Questions, take them to heart, and ask them in a quiet space. Get away from everything for just 5 min, and ask God. Keep asking until you get an answer, and the answer may be from an experience, words from someone or what you read, or straight from God.
For me, I am STRENGTH AND HONOR and Every time someone says my Name, I think of that and not the lies Satan fed me for Years. God Knows My Name! He Calls Me To Be Great For His Kingdom. I’m at the point where I LOVE to call Satan out of people, and so that I do it So Much Hell Knows Me and is Scared of Me.
Now the shift of the blog is entirely on YOU reading this. Especially you Men, let your Pride Go or whatever it is that is keeping you from being Vulnerable and just be Real with God and Stop being Fake. Get a Close Community to just discuss what is going on with you internally, and If you Don’t have One, GET ONE. Trust me, it’s so good to verbalize what you’re having issues with. Don’t make stupid excuses.
Isaiah 56:5 “I give them an everlasting name that will endure forever”.
My Name “Strength & Honor” in Gaelic is Neart Agus Onoir, and it will be Forever Tattooed Upon my Heart.
