A few months ago I added some new ink to my collection. The words, "Though my heart and flesh may fail me, You are my faithful strength" will forever be written on my skin. Even though those words are permanently on my body constantly reminding me that He is enough, He is faithful, I find myself more often times than not forgetting this. It's crazy how the enemy can take captive the smallest of thoughts and have you questioning your very purpose and existence in life.
I keep finding myself alone, watching people closest to me venture into new relationships. I feel like I am being pushed out, looked over and I get stuck inside my head with thoughts of always being second best, never being good enough and on and on. By the time I finish the World Race it'll be just days before my 30th birthday (Gasp!!) I give myself away to what my best friend calls a "spirit of stupid." I let the enemy lie to me and tell me, "You will find NO one to love you at that age, your fashion career will never be what you dreamt it would be, and your friends will move on and forget about you in those 11 months you are gone." Do I really want to risk losing all those things?
He asks me a question that breaks me. "Briana, why is my love not enough for you?" I have been pondering this question for days now. A man completely blameless gave his life for me, a selfish sinner, why isn't that enough? Why do I keep looking everywhere else for an unfailing love, when I have already been given it, and given it freely?
I want Gods love to be enough, I want to be ok with giving up or losing everything for Him. Who cares if I never find my Jesus loving bearded music man, ever sew another stitch again or have no friends when I get back to live life with. He is my faithful strength!
