(For the “sub-cool” readers, the title is a reference to a couple Monty Python movie titles).
A couple people have asked me to share my story explaining why I decided to leave the greatest country (in the greatest state!) in the world, to live in relative squalor for 11 months of my life.
I guess the best place to start would be at the beginning. Interestingly enough, I was adopted at birth and had the two most amazing parents any kid could ever ask for. I was blessed with an ideal upbringing and never really faced any major trials in my life. I was taken to church from an early age and as far back as I can remember, I have always known about God and the basic truths of the bible. I remember at around age 5, I asked my mom if I could be a Christian and she walked me through the steps.
Whether I was really a Christian or not, only God knows. Regardless, I spent most of my life going to church and building academic knowledge about the bible. I was pretty well versed in what Christians were supposed to do, but internally, I was selfish, prideful, and loveless.
When I was in college, I became really self-righteous. Here were all these dorm mates who claimed to be Christians, but they didn’t have a clue what the bible said and didn’t behave any different than everyone else. Mid-freshman year, I thought that because I abstained from sex, drugs, booze, and was generally a nice person, I must a pretty awesome Christian. So awesome in fact, that I didn’t even need to go to church or have meaningful relationships with other Christians. I went on a downward spiral that resulted in me committing acts against God that only a year before I would have deemed unimaginable. Despite this, I was not broken. Sure I had crossed some boundaries, but by worldly standards, I was still a cut above the rest.
By God’s grace and some unlikely occurrences, I became part of a very active church. Thanks to devoted spiritual mentors and a strong Christian community, I finally began to appreciate the extent of my utter depravity. I realized that all along, I had been using the wrong measuring stick and that this idealized image I had of myself was not the real me. All the accolades I received and all the good works I did would never compensate for my sinfulness. For my sin alone, Jesus had to die on that cross. No matter how I try to rationalize it, I deserve death. Thankfully, God doesn’t give us what we deserve. Instead He paid my debt by making the ultimate sacrifice–His son on the cross.
The past few years, God has been challenging me, asking me, how are you going to use all these blessings I have given you to serve my kingdom. I struggled with various jobs and ministries, trying to find out what God had in store for me. Although I still don’t know what I will be doing in 2011, I know that right here, right now, this is where God wants me to be and I have complete faith that as long as I heed His voice, He will lead me every step of the way.
