A couple weeks ago, I posted a blog that dealt with my prolonged struggle with pornography. You can see the blog here. To many of the viewers, it might have seemed a little excessive to post something so shameful on a public forum for the whole world to see. Surely I could have just had a private conversation with a few close guy friends who could keep me accountable. Revealing it to family, prospective employers and strangers who could stumble onto my site seems a bit extreme.
So why did I behave so drastically? The answer is simple, God told me to. I didn’t really understand why at the time, but I obeyed. Although logic and reason suggest that there are less drastic means of enacting a confession, God had bigger plans. And what wonderful plans they were. First and foremost, I have felt completely free of sexual temptation since that blog. I can’t really explain where or how everything disappeared so suddenly. Perhaps there is some spiritual warfare going on and something evil was forced out. Whatever happened, I am basking in my newfound freedom.
A second byproduct of being obedient with that blog is the transformation of other people’s lives. Since the posting, I have received a dozen encouraging emails about people who have made similar proclamations and dealt with issues of sin. Most of these were people I would never have even considered bringing personal issues up. Several other people on the World Race also brought struggles to light and an era of authentic openness and honesty has been ushered in. Simply by being obedient and obeying God’s prompting, a chain reaction of obedience has followed.
God has been calling me to do many things these past two weeks. He told me to immediately share my testimony with the guys to begin man month. He told me to be painfully thorough in revealing every embarrassing detail and really set the tone for subsequent testimonies.
Another interesting way God is working, he brought a group of YWAM’ers (Youth With A Mission) to stay with our contact in the rural village. When they first arrived, I felt very drawn towards a particularly quiet 21 year old named G”. I don’t know why, but at praise, I felt called to pull G aside and pray for him. Somehow, after a long prayer over a total stranger, it became apparent that pretty much all the things I had prayed over him were issues he was struggling with right then. Although some might have been more guessable issues that would affect a quiet person, some of the messages were really specific. I don’t really know where they came from but somehow in the midst of prayer, they just surfaced out of no where. I think the Holy Spirit speaks to us in this way and will give us unexpected words when we need them. The key is to be obedient in the first place. Over the course of the week, G and I had some long conversations and through God’s work on his heart, he gave a public testimony in front of his entire team–something he had never done before despite going to school with them for the last 4 months. Its amazing to see how God works through us. I would post a picture of us, but their next stop is in a closed country and I wouldn’t want to put them in any danger.
God is continuously teaching me the freedom that comes through “throwing myself under the bus.� Being vulnerable not only helps me be myself with people, but it also encourages other, more timid people to reveal struggles they are having.
I just want to reiterate the joy of open communities.
I think every Christian should MUST have a person or a group of people who he/she is completely open and honest with. I really think that is the very first step to growth–letting your guard down and being willing to be seen and known. Find someone you trust and go build a “covenant relationship” with them.
Along the same lines, God is really teaching me to speak truth into other people’s lives. This comes in two forms: encouragement and constructive criticism. All my life, I think I underestimated how much insecurity there is in others and how beneficial it is to seek out people’s good traits and verbally point them out. I have seen at least 10 times this week where people are drastically changed based on the postive comments of others.
The other half of being a good friend is lovingly bringing attention to things that we see in others that need refinement. Coming from a background in which I told myself that to be humble, I should not judge others, this was a difficult task for me to learn. How do you lovingly give someone constructive criticism when you aren’t their boss/spiritual leader/etc.? I have come to the realization that anyone can give anyone else constructive criticism as long as they really check themself and make sure that the comments aren’t for the giver’s own gain.
Just in case someone has some truth that they need to tell someone but isn’t sure how to go about it, I will mention a method that has worked for me. Step 1: take the issue to God. Pray hard over it and make sure that this issue isn’t anything to do with your own pride but is really something that the other person ought to hear. Step 2: meet with the person and ask them if they are willing to receive some constructive criticism that you have for them. Tell them that you have prayed thoroughly over this and show them that what you are saying is only out of love. Step 3: Pray together with them asking God to soften both of your hearts. Ask that only God’s words come out of the giver’s mouth and that the receiver is able to openly take the words and think carefully about them. Step 4: Show that this in no way affects the friendship–I recommend pointing out a lot of good things you see in them and giving them a big hug. Step 5: Tell the criticism receiver to go think about it and pray to God to convict him of this if it is indeed true, or to give him confidence and peace about the issue in the event that the criticism is misplaced. Hope that helps some of you and you start speaking truth into others lives. Be prepared to get some truth back and have everyone coming out with more growth on the other end.
This was a pretty serious blog, so I will end on a happy note with some pictures taken in Cambodia of my team.
