I’ve been racing around the world for over 6 months now. Prior to that, I was in Jamaica for 3 months with only a 3 week break in between that and the Race. It’s been about 9 months of traveling now. 9 months of living out of a thirty-nine pound backpack. 9 months of making new friends. 9 months of intentional ministry. I’ve hit my Wall.
I’m spent. I’m used up. I’m dry. I’m completely and utterly exhausted.
I’ve always had wanderlust but after 9 months that wanderlust has all but faded. I knew that I would hit my Wall at some point, but I didn’t know I would hit it this hard. I not only ran into it I put a jet pack on, turned it up to max speed and rammed into this Wall.
I’m sure that Paul at some point woke up and said, “Yup, I’m tired of getting shipwrecked, I’m tired of getting beaten, and I’m tired of sleeping on a prison floor. I want to go home and just chill out.” I mean, he had to say that at some point, right?
My answer came at church the morning after I ran headfirst into the Wall. I couldn’t understand the Albanian message so I started flipping around the Bible for some encouragement and of course, God came through. The first verse I came across said this;
“His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness.” II Peter 1:3
God isn’t promising it’s going to be easy, no, He’s saying that He’s giving us all the power we need to face whatever life throws at us, today. Not tomorrow, not next week. Today. God called me here, He knew what was going to happen, and despite being hard to see it in the moment He’s given me more than enough of His divine power to conquer this Wall.
Eagerly I flipped the Bible to the next verse that would blow my mind:
“As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.” Ephesians 4:1
I’m pretty sure I’ve found a new favorite verse. God has called me to this crazy life known as the World Race, I have no doubt about that. Sometimes I wonder why He called me to do this, why he ever needed me. I’m just Brian. But this is my calling and Paul is urging me to live a life worthy of this insane path that God has given me. Whatever it is God has called me to do, be it a season of joy and ease or a season of pain and hardship, He wants me to live worthy of whatever that season He has called me into. Mmm, preach it!
Yeah, I’ve hit a wall unlike any wall I’ve ever hit. If I was at any other season of my life I would’ve quit and gone home. But God has called me to perseverance and to be a warrior when things get beyond difficult. He has called me to lean into Him every morning when I wake up bleary eyed and struggling to find strength to even fetch coffee. He is teaching me to lean into Him when the going gets tough; that only He can bring me through this. He is teaching me one of the hardest lessons I’ve ever learned. And I’m determined to pass it.
Know that if you’re going through rough times right now (or maybe the Race is wearing you thin) that there are many others going through the exact same thing; which is why I wrote this blog. I want to open up a space for vulnerability and honesty that when things get hard we don’t keep it bottled up till we explode like a bloated, over-due volcano.
Let it out. Be vulnerable. Be honest. Tell someone how much life sucks right now. And yeah, life can totally suck sometimes. It’s okay to say that. God knows it too. But it’s up to us to choose how we deal with whatever life is throwing at us; and it ends up defining us. Lean into God, lean into your friends, parents and mentors. Tell someone. Anyone. Life is too short to not be vulnerable. And let me tell you, once you get it off your chest and into the open air the freedom that God begins to bring is astounding and extraordinary.
I leave you with this encouragement that while there will be trouble in this world, God is right there protecting us. Our home is not in this fragile and frail world but with our Father in Heaven.
“My prayer is not that you take them out of this world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it.” John 17:15-16
