“Great hearts steadily send forth the secret forces that incessantly draw great events.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
Our Squad is working in Ho Chi Mihn City, Vietnam (formerly know as Siagon), placed, unknowing to any of us, smack into the middle of a battle ongoing. My squadmate
Pamela Philp writes an explanation too good not to use… Check out the rest of the blog in its entirety
here.
“For the past 2 weeks in Vietnam we have been staying at a hotel. We have beds and showers and air conditioning. Our first day here we were so excited, and felt so blessed, but once night hit, our hearts broke. An undeniable heaviness had entered our hotel, and we all knew that darkness was around. The first floor of our hotel (and probably the rest of it if we weren’t occupying so many rooms) is used for prostitution. Men enter our hotel at night, there is a book of names, and girls are being bought. They are bought for an hour, they are bought for the night, whatever the men desire. We have seen them enter and our hearts break just as God’s does. So, every night since we have been here we have had a ‘prayer watch’. From 11pm to 7am there are 2 people assigned to an hour to pray for the people of the hotel. To pray for the men and women entering the rooms, as well as the men filling out the books, along with the owner of the hotel who allows this to go on. Because of these nights, light is beginning to penetrate the darkness, and we are slowly taking this place back to the kingdom. But, we all felt we needed something more. So, last night, Sunday the 21st of September, we became fire in the night. We started at 11pm and went until 3am as an entire squad, lifting up our hotel through prayer, and meditation, and art, and song. We had 6 different rooms to express ourselves in different ways to lift up this place to the Lord. We even rented a room on the first floor right in the middle of the darkness to bring in the light.”
As Pamela mentions above, the evening of the 21st was a fire in the night. No matter your religious/political/intellectual point of view, this was more than just focusing on sin. This was more than just focusing on “saving souls.” This was about hearts breaking for hearts once whole.
Life is a process of breaking. From the moment we are born the heart begins to lose its value. It is one more day removed from the day it was pure. Time steamrolls ahead, gaining momentum; all the while the heart is dying to brokenness. It’s the same steamroll for everyone, just different scenery. I tossed my heart through the grinder of depression and introspective self-obsession years ago. I came out dead to love and seeking affirmation through a false face I showed the world. Everyone on my squad can tell you his or her broken story. Some will speak of addictions, while others will speak of rejection. Some will confess to abuse while others will own up to the title of abuser. The world is a wide spectrum of breaking and it’s happening everyday.
The fact of the matter is our hearts are pursued.
There is a fight for hearts. I’m trying to not sound so “Evangelical” as to loosely spit out phrases like “Jesus living in your heart” or “I’m saved.” However I find it almost sickly appropriate to use these terms. In the last few days I have noticed something happening within myself as well as those around me. Our once broken, now “Jesus occupied” hearts are beginning to crumble. In the midst of salvation and restoration we are breaking all over again. You see, in the big scheme of things, there is nothing greater than that of your heart. And while two opposing forces aim relentlessly towards captivating possession, it’s all for the same reason in a sense. The world and he who dwells in it wants your heart broken. The creator and the designer of life wants your heart broken. The similarities end there. When our hearts break as a result of the world, often the end product is the absence of life. We are left in a state of empty stillness. Love after the fact often hurts and trust becomes the root of most fear. The game has ended and we have emotionally cashed in our chips.
Last night, in a moments notice, we began to understand the weight of our decision to follow a God unseen. He did not take back our hearts to place them in a shelter and protect them from the storm. He restored us each at one time or another, and last night he showed us his intentions. In the blink of an eye our hearts began beating in sync with his, and for four hours our hearts began breaking for what breaks his. Last night something new happened. When our hearts broke as a result of God, the end product was love. We were left in a state of compassion and care. Love after the fact ran deep and trust became the root of every action. The game has not ended and the stakes are now higher than ever.
