Lessons from a broken mirror……

As I sit here in Swaziland, month six of my journey,  my heart is full of so many emotions. As we are together as a whole squad again, for the third time, I have talked to others about their relationships with the Lord lately. While others seem to be struggling hearing God’s voice, I have experienced God in huge ways the few weeks we have been here. 

 

Like always, when we are with the squad we have squad time once a week. In this time we worship God is songs of praise, stories of His involvement in our lives and ministry, and whatever else God is laying on our hearts. A few days ago one of our leaders shared her testimony. Following here another girl on the squad shared a small part of her testimony. Both stories hit close to home.

 

I came home that night, sat in my tent with tears pouring down my face, crying out to God. What did He want from me? What was He trying to tell me? What did He want me to do with these pains He had resurfaced after years of me keeping them buried??? I had no idea..

 

I began to write down pains from my past, and lies I have believed for years, and then opened my Bible to find truths God had for me. He filled me with so many that night. When I woke the next morning I felt God calling me to spend the day fasting and in prayer with Him. I took the morning off from ministry and did just that! I cannot even put into words the freedom that came over me that day! 

 

But God was not done with me yet.. 

 

A few nights later we had an unmanditory night of worship. As we began to sing, I prayed that God would speak to me that night again. To give me clarity about why He was resurfacing those past hurts. And that’s when it happened.. one of those God moments where He is telling you to speak! One of those moments your heart is pounding so hard it is ready to pop out of your chest! 

 

And so I did..

 

He wanted me to share with the squad the freedom I had been given! He wanted me to share with them how all these years I have lived feeling alone in pain and suffering, while all the while there were people right there beside me who had the same pain and sufferings. How those night I cried myself to sleep, all the while I had someone I could have gone to, to talk through it and pray about it with. 

 

All of that lead up to today. I went to ministry this morning, came home for lunch and to work out, and afterwards laid down to nap in hopes to get rid of a stomach ache that had started after lunch. I ended up taking the afternoon off to rest, which was so needed. As I woke for supper I began to crawl out of my tent and stepped on my mirror, breaking it. 

 

This mirror was one I bought right before I left. It was labeled “unbreakable” – perfect for the Race. It was two sided, one normal and the other magnified. I always used the normal side.. who wanted to see all their zits and imperfections up close and personal?! And of course.. that was the side that broke.. 

 

Still kind of out of it, I went and had dinner and then came back to tidy up my tent. As I took apart the mirror and tossed out the broken part it made me think.. 

 

So many times in life we tend to look at the broad picture of things. Even when it comes to our own life, and especially our painful past. But what if God broke that? What if He forced us to stop looking at things from a distance and look at it up close and personal? Of course at first we may see the “zit” or “imperfection”, but eventually He is going to show us the beauty – the wonderful creation He made, and is so proud of. 

 

“Put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.” -Ephesians 4:22-24

 

I pray that God will work in the hearts of all His children – breaking what they see of themselves from afar, and forcing them to see the up close and personal.. the beauty God had created in them. I pray He reveals Himself to us all, showing us that even in times of trial or pain, that He was there, and that He can use even that hurt for His good. He has used my pain and suffering as a way to reach others, as a way to be there to love and support His broken children, and it is powerful and beautiful! 

 

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.

 

With hope and love,

 

**Brianne was unable to get this posted during her short trip to town so she emailed me totip load for her.  I was unable to get her exact balance but as of 12/6/13 she still needed $1956 to be fully funded and able to be allowed to complete this trip.  She must have the funds in her account by 1/1/2014.  If you are wiling and able to contribute ANY amount is appreciated.  Have blessed Christmas!  Lori