It was Thursday night, 9:00pm. I stood outside a brothel with eight other people. When I finally made the decision to go in, my heart was racing. My mind was flooded with thoughts like, “What do I say?” As we walked up the drive, and up the stairs I said a quick, frantic prayer. I asked God to go ahead of us, to soften the women hearts, and to give me the words to say that these women needed to hear from their Heavenly Father.
When we walked in we were greeted by three women. Two were ones the church had been ministering to for a while now, but the other was new. She was standoffish, not really knowing what to think. As we all sat I ended up smack dab in the middle. Conversations started, people talking over and all around me. And then, as I glanced over, I saw the one woman sitting off to herself. God gave me a nudge, and so I walked over.
I was totally amazed at the peace I saw come over her, and the total openness and honesty she shared with me. In that moment I was talking to God’s beautiful daughter Kim, not the prostitute trapped in this house.
Kim began to tell me about her life. Kim had just returned to work last week after having her second child. As her newborn baby boy was in the hospital because of complications, her precious two year old daughter was at home with family. She would work her 4:30-11pm “shift”, go to the hospital to see her son, then home, up in the morning to play with her daughter, then off to the hospital again to see her son before work. There was one thing I knew about Kim, and that was the great amount of love she had for her children.
As we began to talk more about her past, and future plans, she shared more than I ever expected. She said as a child she always wanted to be a doctor, but the older she got she decided she’d rather just be a stripper. As she pursued that career her cousin suggested she do prostitution instead, so she could make more money. Her own family told her that! The people we should be able to run to for support, encouragement, and protection!!!
She then told me how her mother abandoned her and her twin brother when they were 3 months old, she was raised by her grandmother, and a few years ago her brother was murdered by an ax to his head. You could see the anger and bitterness well up within her as she talked about it. And she then mentioned how she blamed her mother for it all.
My heart broke.
This woman has been through more in her lifetime then I could even imagine. And she was hurt. Let down. Abandoned. All of this by the people she was supposed to trust the most.
It was then that God used me to speak to her. As words came out of my mouth I got chills. I didn’t even know what I was saying until the words came out, but you could see on her face they were exactly what she needed to hear.
God used me to break chains that had held her in slavery all her life. I got to speak new life into her, and build her up in ways I’m not sure she ever has been before. I was able to tell her that by forgiving her mother she was doing no favor to her mother, but to herself. Although she may never be able to forget all the pain she’s suffered, by forgiving she is able to start fresh.
I even got to share pains from my past – how I was hurt badly by a man I planned to marry. I told her how, in my situation, forgiveness was not something I decided to do one day, but rather something I have to wake up every day and do. In the beginning it’s tough. At first you may pray the words, but not feel it in your heart. But eventually God softens your heart, and slowly, day by day, it gets easier.
So let me leave you with what I left her..
You are loved and cared for by a Heavenly Father.
If you have experienced pain similar to Kim, know that God protected you – even though you may not understand now, or ever for that matter. God knew she would not receive the love she needed from her mother, and blessed her with an upbringing by her grandmother.
By simply praying for those who hurt us, God WILL change our hearts towards them. After all, we are called to love everyone as Christ did – even our enemies. One day, maybe even years down the road, forgiveness will happen.
When you can truly forgive someone in your heart, you give God the opportunity to rebuild that relationship in the way He designed. By Kim forgiving her mother, not only is she taking the burden off her heart, but she is giving her mother the opportunity to love her and be there for her in a way she wasn’t able to do when she was a child.
I don’t have all the answers, and won’t pretend I do. But, what I do know is our God is big and powerful. If we allow Him to do work on our heart He can do great things!
I don’t know if Kim will ever get out of prostitution, but it’s my prayer that she does. But regardless.. I know that night there was hope planted in her heart. And hope can do unimaginable things!
-Bri
