So lately I have been getting a lot of the "I just don't understand why you want to do that." type of comments.
When I first started hearing comments like these I was hurt/mad/sad. Not exactly sure which. I would try to explain to people…but most times words failed me. Which was infuriating. Here I am with this incredible journey before me that Im completely invested in, yet I cant even find the words to explain why I want to go.
Well, let me try again.
The main reason why I want to go on The World Race:
Because I feel in my heart that I am supposed to.
God called me to this mission trip.
He put a love in my heart for the third world when I was a little girl.
And now He is calling me to act on it. He wants me there. He has always had a plan.
I am going on the World Race because God wants me to.
Of course I was nervous when thinking of sleeping in dirt with snakes and spiders and war. Of being completely vulnerable to people I've never met. Nervous is probably the understatement of the century. Scared out of my mind is more like it.
BUT
He has never let me down before. When I try to run away or run my own life and listen to just myself Ive been lost, sad and broken.
When I stick with God the road has light.
There is light.
And now I will walk this road. Because God has called me to it.
Different people are called to a variety of things. Some to be musicians to create songs that make people light up. Some to be doctors to help heal the sick. Some to be teachers to help prepare future generations for the world. Some to be mothers and fathers to raise children in His love. Some to be lawyers to help bring justice to those who deserve it. And some to be travelers to spread the word to unfamiliar borders.
I may not understand why you want to be a doctor who deals with gross blood and depressing sickness every day. I may not understand why you want to be a teacher who is in charge of a small army of children every day who run your patience ragged with their quetions and boogers. I may not understand why you want to be a lawyer who works ridiculous hours while defending victims and murderers alike.
But you see, understanding why doesnt matter.
God didnt intend for us to understand every single person. To know why they do what they do. Thats why he gave us a private mind to have the choice to share thoughts and feelings or keep them private. All that matters is we understand what God has called us to do, what His will for us is. And that He understands us fully.
He didnt say go and understand every person in the world and how they work.
He said to go love them.
I am going on The World Race because God understands my desires.
These are the plans He has for me. Just like the plans He laid out for you.
It's not always about understanding, see?
It's all about the loving anyway despite not understanding.
