As many of you know, I was originally supposed to launch for The World Race in January with M Squad. That however, is no longer the plan.
I have always prided myself on being easy going and pretty much just 'going with the flow.'
Ive never really been one to worry about making plans, and I like the idea of being spontaneous and accepting whatever comes my way.
Well, The Lord has been putting that to the test lately with me. At training camp, I met the most amazing and loving people I have ever known. I could not wait to leave in January with them and travel the World seeking the Lord.
However, as the deadline got closer and closer and closer….I was still not there. I became extremely fearful that I would not be able to leave with my friends. One night I literally layed in bed crying for hours, extremely angry with God about how it 'just wasnt fair.'
Well the next morning Jesus calmed my heart. All of the anxiety and fear I had been feeling for weeks was no longer there. I had comfort. It was like Jesus leaned in, hugged me and said:
"Whether you go on the Race now or in July, these are still the plans I have always had for you."
And in short, there you have it.
I felt the Lord whispering to me
"July, July, July."
I have no idea why, and I would say that it was money, but its not. Because as of last week I am only 100 dollars away from the deadline I needed to launch.
So remember when I said I like that i can be "easy going?"
Well let me tell you, Its been SO HARD.
Because since I just graduated college, I have no school to attend and no job to work for here in Michigan. I do not understand the reason why He wants me here for the next six months, But I have an overwhelming feeling that He will show me why in time.
So I had to sit at home yesterday while All my friends flew to D.C. to prepare to head out on the race.
I had to say goodbye to people who have become my family.
I have to postpone my trip another six months.
BUT
I became part of a new family that I will leave with in July.
And I can already tell they are amazing and loving people.
And even though it is incredibly hard, I cannot help but feeling blessed.
Nothing about watching the others leave without me was easy, but I know it was right.
I was meant to meet them and become family, but I was not meant to travel with them.
So like I said, Jesus has definitely been testing this 'easy-going' quality I wanted to maintain.
But…
I'm trying.
and I'm trusting.
and I'm thanking God.
Because now I get to become friends with TWO squads.
My old one and my new one.
I get to see the work the Lord is doing doubly.
I have that many more people to love.
As I said…my heart is being ripped apart. But…. I get to watch and be part of that many more people's journey with the Lord.
And how could that EVER be a bad thing?
🙂
So to all of you who have helped me get to the point I am at….here is a SINCERE thank you.
Although not leaving right now is hard, I know that God will do amazing things throughout these next six months as we prepare to leave in July.
And update: I am currently at $6,330.
🙂
