As I was doing my nightly ritual of scrolling through Facebook last night; I saw the news that Robin Williams, age 63, had died of apparent suicide.
I can only describe the feelings I felt in that moment as earth shattering. I went to sleep with thoughts of Robin Williams in my head, and all of the iconic rolls he played throughout my life time.
This morning he is on my mind again. I tried to watch some of the videos trending of him on Facebook and I couldn’t even bring myself to do it. My eyes continuously well up with tears and I’m heartbroken all over again. At first, it was strange to me that I am having such a personal reaction to someone I’ve never met. Someone I have only seen on television. The more I think about it though, the more I realize that my reaction to his death is not strange at all, it’s simply very human.
For a long time I have wondered if I could ever really change someone’s life. I do things to fulfill this longing, like go on yearlong mission trips and volunteer in my community. I want to believe that I can make someone’s life better even if it’s in the simplest of ways. Lately, I have doubted that belief I held so strongly to as a child. Life gets hard and it gets busy and you feel like you don’t have time for yourself let alone for other people. I wonder what the point is if I smile at that person or make them laugh, they don’t know me and they will forget me the minute we part ways. Can I really affect someone’s life in a positive way?
I believe I have reacted so strongly to the death of Robin Williams first because it is so tragic and the world has lost a brilliant man. But also because I realize the impact this man I have never met, has had on my life. As Mrs. Doubtfire, Robin Williams brought laughter into my life as a child when laughter was hard to come by. My parents divorced when I was ten, and like many fellow children of America in the same boat, Robin Williams’s words made it all seem just a little more bearable. It gave me the courage to look for hope again in my little broken family when hope was hard to find. He was honest in telling us that our parents probably wouldn’t get back together, but that we really would be alright. And of course, he was right.
You don’t have to know someone to change their life. You don’t have to meet them, or shake their hand. You don’t have to know anything about them. Robin Williams has inspired me my whole life. Giving me laughter as a child, and moving me as an adult. He changed the way I viewed the world in a time when the world didn’t seem so kind.
Robin Williams affected my life in so many good ways. Even in death, he reminds me of that childlike faith I had, that through love and laughter even I can impact the world for good…whether I know who I’m impacting or not.
Robin Williams, it has been an honor. We love you.
