Ah. Training camp.
It has been burning on my heart to write about it. I’ve just been taking some time to process. The past ten days have been life changing and have opened my heart to a new and deeper understanding of who God is. Getting home has been somewhat of a shock. From forgetting what hot showers felt like, to drinking water out a real cup again (not a hydro flask) and to falling asleep in a warm bed, and waking up AFTER the sun has risen. Ah. It’s the small things people, trust me. However, the Lord deepend my love for him in so many ways in the discomfort and in the trails. Let me tell you a little about my squad, the people I’ll be doing missions along side of the next year. These are some incredible, on fire for the Lord, loveable, and unique people God has gifted me to spend life alongside of. The past ten days blew me away. Getting to see their lovely faces every single day didn’t annoy me, it strengthened me and excited my heart. For I saw individuals who were very different and unique apart from myself, but they were authentic. Their arms and hearts were open to God wanting more and more and carrying a “YES” in their spirits – the likes of which I’ve never experienced before. I saw strangers laying down their lives for each other. I saw people so free in Christ and so alive in His love because it reflected their servant hearts. I saw smiles everywhere I looked. I smile a lot (I’m usually the first to smile) and yet everyone held a smile right back at me. So much love – my heart hurts and misses my squad already as I write this. Ah, overflow of emotions. All the feels today. To the first day we met, to the middle, and to the end; I saw fighters, I saw healers, I saw lovers of all kinds. I saw a group of radically free believers with their hearts open to God and to the call He’s placed upon each of us.
Training camp wasn’t easy. It was uncomfortable, wet, tiresome, and held few moments of reflection and rest. However I learned so much about the Holy Spirit and the work that is so needed to be done in the world, especially on the route I have chosen. Which I’ll be writing another blog going into detail about so stay tuned!! I’ve learned so much. The training was extensive and daily, but wow, God blessed us with the best leaders and teachers. Throughout the whole experience I felt like like I was in great hands. As we worshipped daily and dug deeper into the word I felt my heart begin to change. So much healing occurred these past ten days. It’s hard to explain, but I know at the end of it, there were chains laying on the ground. Chains I didn’t even know I was carrying still. God freed me in many ways, showed me new things, and encouraged me so deeply by community and the amazing power of His son. Jesus I love you! The glory is all yours.
“On the day I called, you answered me; My strength of soul you increased”
– Psalm 138:3
At the beginning of the week my prayer was for God to strengthen me. The enemy kept telling me I wasn’t qualified to go. That I wasn’t whole enough, strong enough; that I was unrighteous and a sinner in God’s view. At times I believed it, not fully, but I let the enemy rob me of my peace and clarity. God broke those lies into pieces and delivered me into a new light and understanding of His perfect love for me. I am so joyful today. There is a freedom and a love so evidently placed by God on my heart I can’t help but smile. I want to dance, tell all those around me I love them and genuinely mean it. So many of us forget this reality. When life gets busy, when we let trials and worry settle in our hearts we let the enemy have fuel to discourage us and distract us from the beautiful reality of how He loves us. Ah. Bask in that reality and it’s all you’ll ever need. That Psalm really hit home because of my prayer before training camp. I kept asking God to make me the man He created me to be. Short but powerful. I’ve seen myself mature and grasp a deep understanding of the man God has called me to be, even from childhood and as He was forming me in the womb. All the doubt, all the the times where I believed the lie that “I’m not good enough” for God’s love, has been released. I truly feel that I’m standing in a new radically beautiful sense of freedom. Freedom found in one name, Jesus Christ. Perfect salvation.
“I awake, and I’m still with you”
Psalm 139:18
I miss my E squad family so much, but I know they are with me just as much as I knew and know all of my family across the family is with me. Regardless of the miles, regardless of the distance of our bodies. At training camp I never really went on my phone, for I knew my friends back home were with me, right inside this heart of mine. Community is truly one of the greatest gifts from God. The Holy Spirit is the most powerful and complete in its awe and mystery. I cannot wait to launch in two months. God has placed a new burning passion to leave already, but I’ve realized His timing is perfect. In the next two months I plan to walk daily in my new freedom, and pray diligently. Waking up daily with a “yes” in my spirit and being obedient to God on all fronts. He’s so good, He’s never not good. Amen!
I love you all. Please keep praying for me and supporting me if God has placed it upon your heart to do so. We, together, with your support – are shaking places both on earth and in heaven. Love deeply, always –
Brent 🙂
E Squad Photos –
– My team!!! (Team black ops)
