Final Blog
“I don’t want to talk about you like you’re not in the room, I want to look right at you, I want to sing right to you”
There is no human understanding that can make this phrase literal, yet it is the truth that has changed my life. If you believe in Jesus Christ and His death and resurrection on the cross, I encourage you to continue reading and see if this challenges your faith as well. If you do not believe in Jesus, please continue to read because learning about other’s perspectives is a skill that our world needs to pursue.
The World Race has challenged my complacency in my faith. If I call myself a Christian, then I believe Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life, but was I living my life in that truth? Before I could live in truth, I first had to discover what it was.
This blog is the last I will write on the World Race and will try to encompass a few major lessons I have learned. The Lyric at the beginning of the blog is my favorite lyric to sing and after analyzing it, The Lord highlighted that its structure should be the foundation of my final blog. I am writing on the spiritual truths that I have sought after the past 9 months, not the historical truths of Christianity, and if that is something you are searching for, I can help you find resources for that. But today I am writing about personal truths and testimonies in my life that have changed everything.
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“I don’t want to TALK about you like you’re not IN THE ROOM”
I underestimated God when it came to his presence in the room. I’ve always heard that God was omnipresent, but since I didn’t feel and talk to Him, I just brushed it off and just made it make sense because He was God. But have you ever felt the Lord’s presence and talk to Him like you talk to another person? That is what makes this phrase so powerful. When I first heard that you could talk to God I didn’t believe it. How could it be possible? I know God is all-powerful and I know He wants us to be in a relationship with Him, but how could I talk to Him. It wasn’t until I received my first vision from the Lord in month 2 that I started to understand the unexplainable. I’ve said this in my blogs before, but we are temples of the Holy Spirit, the same spirit that Jesus sent down when he ascended into heaven. We have God living inside of us. He calls us is sons and daughters because He is our Father.
We all know what prayer is. We pray to God in times of trouble, confusion, or anguish in a desperate plea or maybe in gratitude, but prayer is so much more than that. Ever since I met Christ, I always heard that prayer is talking to God, but never thought it could be a conversation. I sit down every morning and before I do anything, I listen to what He has to say and every morning, He knows exactly what I need to hear. This may seem radical to some and that is okay, I thought it was crazy too. But after witnessing and hearing, and being a part of things that aren’t in human understanding, it can only point back to God. Jesus isn’t some God who sits in the clouds of heaven and watches down on us, He is a God that actively pursues us because He wants us desperately. During my time in Costa Rica, I spent the entire time slowly unraveling and believing that God loved me until I felt it. My relationship with God isn’t stagnant but is the source of eternal life. He is always moving and is like a friend that will never leave and never change. I don’t just know God by reading the Bible and praying, I experience God whether that be in community or sitting and talking to Him.
I want to share a story that may seem insignificant, but meant a lot to me and led me to a more accurate view of God’s character. Before this moment, I always pictured myself as a knight before God. I would stand before Him, dressed in armor, ready to be called wherever He wanted me to go. It was an image that constantly popped in my head whenever I thought of my relationship with the Lord. I never told anyone about this image because it wasn’t that important, but something that held definition. One particular night, we were singing in a parking lot in Louisiana when my friend Alicia came up to me. She told me that God had given her a word for me. She said, “God doesn’t want you dressed in armor, He wants you in your baggy sweatpants and Walmart T-shirt.” I was blown away. How did anyone know that was the image with the Lord? God used Alicia to completely alter my entire way of thinking about my relationship with Jesus. Yes, I’ve seen miracles, healings, fulfilled prophecies, tongues, and words of knowledge and wisdom. I’ve seen and heard the Lord work in ways that cannot comprehend over the past 9 months, but this moment, in particular, changed the way I knew Jesus.
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“I want to LOOK right at you”
There are a lot of things about God, whether in the Bible or from personal experience, that just do not add up. One of them is Jesus. There are a lot of things about Jesus that don’t make sense in human understanding, but one, in particular, made me think: God is the most powerful being in the universe, He is greater than all evil, the creator of heaven and earth, and is the father to all, yet He sent Jesus to die so that we may have a personal relationship. All of that summed up into one is that God wanted me. It seemed impossible to come to terms with the idea that the highest king wanted to be in a relationship with me. He wanted to sit and talk to me. He wanted me, broken and seemingly insignificant, to bring His kingdom. He wanted me to be His adopted son. It was so hard for me to believe and honestly, I’m still trying to completely believe all of it because, in a world like ours, it’s inconceivable. The fact that God loves me and no matter how many times I betray, hurt, and turn my back on Him is why Christianity is too good to be true. But it is true! A few weeks ago I sat with God and asked Him what He wanted to do that day and He asked me to read the entire book of Isaiah. If you know anything about the book of Isaiah is that it is the longest book of the Bible. I sat there from breakfast until dinner, reading and soaking in so much about God. At the end of my time, He told me a few things but my biggest takeaway was when God said, “Isaiah will forever be written on your heart.” The Book of Isaiah reveals a lot about the character of God which filled me with so much joy. He revealed to me who He was during that day and I was overwhelmed with love.
In the section above, I mentioned feeling God. I wrote a blog, Everything I Know About God, and I talk about a specific time I felt the Holy Spirit come down. The month of April is what D Squad called the Fire. Back in Costa Rica, we prophesied as a squad for The Dominican Republic and the common message was that it was going to be a season in the fire. Month 8 was the hardest month of the race because we were walking in the heat of the flames, being refined, to draw closer to the Lord. In that time, Jesus was teaching me what intimacy looked like with Him and I can attest to knowing the love of the Lord. Every morning, knowing that ministry was going to be tough, the Lord would fill me up with His love. I couldn’t stop smiling, I would feel His all-consuming holy presence, and I knew I was and am loved and I just wanted to sit in it forever. In the Fire, He showed me how much He wanted me to draw closer to Him.
I remember the week of Halloween I asked God to show me that He loved me. I never felt the Lord’s love and I wanted to experience it for myself. On Halloween, our squad had a party at our coach’s house and Kendra made hot chocolate. The hot chocolate was in a big steel pot, poured by a ladle, mixed with Hershey’s chocolate powder and boiled milk. The moment I saw it, my memories of standing in my neighbor’s kitchen, The Durant’s, came flooding back. One specific memory of Mrs. Durant, Brigid, and I made the hot chocolate in the same steel pot with the same ladle and same ingredients. I don’t believe this was just any coincidence because it was that moment I knew the Lord wanted all of me. Lord doesn’t just speak in dreams, prayers, and visions, but also the small meaningful details.
My faith in Jesus is not just some belief that a man that was God came down and opened the door for us to go to heaven, but rather a living relationship with a God that deeply cares about me and is interested in what is best for me. He will never let me down and He will never leave me. If you have ever heard my testimony, you know how God radically changed my life and this journey with Him has been the best decision I’ve ever made. If you have never heard my testimony, ask me about it.
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“I want to sing write to you”
I have been blessed with the best family these past 9 months. I love them a heck of a lot. D Squad chases after God like people I have never witnessed before. We have had some incredible experiences, heartbreaking tragedies, awkward moments, and everything in between. It hurts to think that in a few weeks I will have to leave this family. We became our church of a body of believers who all desire to know God. We carry each other’s burdens. We celebrate each other’s successes and triumphs. Everything is centered around Jesus. I have learned so much from these people. The Bible calls us into fellowship with others which is the basis for the church. The concept of church has been redefined for me over the world race because it isn’t just a place you go on Sundays, but the people that care so deeply about each other.
I am so grateful that God put me in a church body that constantly challenges me to own my faith, empowers me to share what the Lord has taught me, and worships as they mean it. I have been able to experience a taste of the church in Acts 2 and I want more of it. We all have been given amazing gifts from the Lord that we use to bring glory to Him while Jesus is at the head of everything. Our leadership is the Holy Spirit and we all submit to Him. All of us make up the church body in which we all have different gifts, talents, and purposes to glorify God. I’ve been able to live in a community that lives out their gifting to glorify the Creator rather than themselves. D Squad has taught me what sacrificial love looks like.
One of my favorites nights of the race was when we pulled a worship all-nighter. All of us, under one roof, praising the Lord with everything we had. Jesus’ presence was all-consuming. I can’t explain how amazing that night was. We didn’t just sing songs, but the things the Lord had asked us to sing. We each had a voice, singing our praise in unison. I looked around and saw my D Squad family desiring the same thing I did. I want more of that. I want more of truth and authenticity rather than the 3 songs Sunday morning. I want the real thing.
I like living in community and these people have only solidified that for me. We have some awesome memories and stories that I can’t wait to share. God is good. I’m thankful for D Squad.
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I didn’t know what to expect going into the World Race back in September, but what I got out of it was far greater than I could’ve imagined. I’m so grateful for the people that supported me, prayed for me, and followed along this journey with me. This is it. My last blog on the World Race. I will be home soon and I can’t wait to see all of you.
So what is next for me… In the Fall I will be attending Pepperdine University in Malibu, CA to double major in political science and history with an emphasis in pre-law. I’m not sure why the Lord has called me there, at first I was taken back, but I know that this is where I am meant to be. My Ministry won’t end here though. I plan on transforming my @brentworldrace account on Instagram to be a platform for sharing how God has working in my life. As always if you want to talk about this blog or any story that I have shared over the past few months, please don’t hesitate to reach out.
-Brent
