So I was raised in an environment where I learned not to
ever confront a person if I had a ‘problem’ with them. I would just harbor the
anger or resentment and release my frustrations to someone other than the
person I had a ‘problem’ with.
As the years went on, I was getting better at ‘standing up
for myself’ but the world race has really changed me and showed how bad my
gossip problem was…ugh.
Back in the states, I usually knew EVERYTHING that was going
on…everywhere. At Bible study, I would talk to everyone and get the update on
EVERYONE’s life…usually what I learned about someone was not even FROM that
person…ugh…Yet, I took it as truth and would spread that to other people I
knew, or I would hold onto that information and remember it and use it against
them whenever I needed to gain an ‘upper-hand’…yeah, lame I know. Also, at
college I was in student government, so I was really in the know. And any time
I wanted to know something, I would ask until I figured it out…
Well…good old world race threw me for a loop. First, I was not a team leader,
so I was not invited to the ‘important’ meetings. I wasn’t finance or logistics
or squad leader, so really, I had NO IDEA what was going on at ALL TIMES. [it’s
still that way…haha (which is a good thing)]. Also, conversations were going on
all around me and I wanted to be in ALL of them to find the scoop on things. I
would be in one conversation and try to listen to the three conversations going
on behind me, but I couldn’t!! This was a problem! I need to be ‘in the KNOW!’
Well, needless to say, I feel way behind on EVERYTHING. And then it hit me…it’s
actually better to NOT be in the know, b/c then you are less responsible for
things. Honestly, the more you know, the more you
are responsible for. So I was actually glad I didn’t know that much, b/c
then I wasn’t responsible for anything!! It was a good feeling! And I couldn’t
be the one that spread anything, b/c I didn’t know anything!
Also another thing about gossip I’m learning: back in the
states, where I grew up, when you have a problem with someone, you tell five OTHER
people about it. Never confront the person and just let it fester and let it
spew out to other people and get them to think bad about that person too. Now
you have more people on your side to make you ‘feel better,’ which means
everything is ok! Right? WRONG! The
way it’s supposed to be is you tell that person, alone, and somewhat
immediately [Matthew 18:15-17]. If you are still having
trouble cooling your temper, then wait a little bit, but make sure you keep
growing, b/c having a temper that cannot be tamed or controlled means that you
are lacking self-control. So pray about it and get better at controlling that
temper, so that when conflict comes, you can immediately deal with the problem,
that way it is dealt with and doesn’t have time to fester…
Proverbs says A LOT about this. I’m not going to mention
every verse but, Proverbs 16:28 (paraphrase) – Gossip separates best of
friends. WHICH RESULTS IN Proverbs 18:19 –
it is harder to win back the friendship of an offended brother than to capture
a fortified city. His anger shuts you out like iron bars.
So now, I see people talking and I don’t barge in on their
conversations. People have ‘important’ meetings and I really don’t care. People
even talk about me and then I walk into the room and it get silent, and
really…I DON’T CARE! I just keep walking with a smile on my face b/c I don’t
need to know what they are saying about me.
