These last few weeks have been …. hard. I’m dealing with a bunch of outside issues, including being worried about finances. Which means I need to give myself a slap upside the head. God is going to provide the money. I have now PASSED $4700, thanks to YOU!!!!! Still, I keep thinking about my remaining balance, worried that I’ll get to go on some of the Race and then have to come home. I shouldn’t worry, because if it is God’s will, He will provide. I’m just scared it isn’t His will. What I need to do is pound into my skull and my heart that it is HIS will, not mine, that I should be concerned about. He’s provided this much and continues to provide more. HIS will above mine.
The truth is, this whole situation of HAVING to trust God without a safety blanket is rather new for me. I’m not a charismatic persuader who can get tons of funds at once just by speaking. God has to move people. And it’s rather unnerving to have Him work through my weaknesses, maybe because I want a fallback. I have no fallback …
I had a thought the other day: you don’t know how strong your faith is until it’s tested. Please pray that I learn to trust Him with all areas of my life. Also please pray that I am faithful to stay in touch with current sponsors and that I would make new partners.
In other news–
Recently I have had to choose between having somewhat of a social life and getting sick from lack of sleep. I need to be around people for extended periods of time so I can prepare for the together-ness of the Race, but I absolutely CANNOT afford to become ill. And I’ve been having trouble sleeping anyway, without late night social activities. I didn’t grow up here, and making friends without a built-in network, like a college, is hard for me anyway. Please pray for my health. My life is crazy without me being sick.
Praise – I have most of my gear that I need for training camp!!! Which is in TWO WEEKS!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!! I have begun to prepare physically for the weight I will have to carry. I have also been reading books to prepare spiritually and to help me learn to weave a basket so I can sell it. Because I can.
God is going to do crazy crazy things through my weaknesses, people. CRAZY. And it’s going to turn my world UPSIDE DOWN. Even more than usual. And if I have to pull myself in gear or whack myself with a newspaper (which will inevitably happen), so be it. I need to be a willing vessel.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR DONATIONS!!!!!!!! YOU’RE AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hopefully with mind intact,
Brenna
