Building on the last blog, God has not only been orchestrating my life to make me a missionary in school, but also in other areas of my life.
For example the owner of the house I used to live in was letting it foreclose so my family knew that we had to move eventually, because of this when the air conditioning busted(In Florida) we didn’t hire anybody to get it fixed since it’s expensive, we’ll be moving soon, and they have a tendency to rip us off. Besides this we also didn’t renew our cable and internet and it had a fee to get started back up. Unfortunately the housing market is so competitive in Florida that almost everything was more than my Mom could afford or would get snatched up in a day by someone who paid more than the asking price. Therefore we ended up not getting a house for many years WiFi and air-conditioning included. Throughout the time I constantly asked God to provide us a new house. We were presented with beautiful options that didn’t go through and deadlines that made me think God would provide a house within that time. Constantly getting my hopes up and having them put down over the course of several years wasn’t very fun but it did teach me a few things.
First of all everything about this period of my life just screams patience training. Second of all it helped me develop a tolerance to the extreme heat of the “Sunshine State.” Third of all it made me develop a different attitude and outlook on life, for example I thought about how with modern technologies I was still living better than ancient kings even with the lack of something everyone else has.
Another way God has been developing me for mission work is my bed. It wasn’t until end of my aircondition-less era that my futon had degenerated into something that was harming my back, but it was for a good amount of time. After we moved I got an air mattress until I could get a new bed and it was comfortable, until my cat poked holes in it, then I was waking up folded like a lawn chair. Besides this we ended up with a wall AC unit in my mom’s room and one other room. Mine couldn’t have one because of the windows sling side to side rather than up and down, so I would tuck my little sister into bed and sleep with her. Besides her taking up the majority of the queen sized bed and literally flailing her fists and legs at me while she slept, the air mattress also got popped at one point because of my cat. Not to mention it got really cold at night because of the wall AC unit. This helped my develop part of my cold resistance, but mainly taught me to be able to sleep anywhere. I would honestly opt for sleeping on the floor next the the air mattress sometimes. Once I finally got a bed, even with it being a cheap one, it was a blessing, I couldn’t have been getting better sleep or been more appreciative of just a simple mattress.
He taught me cold resistance by showing me online that some people wear short sleeves in 50 degree whether, which made me want to do the same and push myself. As a result I’m now more cold resistant than the majority of my squad who lives up North and has to deal with snow which I’ve never even seen.
Somehow God has made me more and more understanding of other people as time goes on to the point that I’m really good at it. Even the things people do I used to look down upon I feel compassion for because God has taught me that one small decision from a long time ago can set you down a bad path that anyone could easily end up on.
He’s kept me locked away in Florida for almost all of my life, making even just the smallest hill a beautiful wonder of the world to me, and I have a starvation for the world now because of it.
He’s taught me money and resource management via games, so now I don’t waste anything and only spend money on things I know I want forever.
With TV shows and games and books and stories, He stirred up an adventurous spirit in me that wants to go around the world and help people for the good of it. A spirit that admired the characters that are selfless and put other people ahead of themselves and just love enjoying life.
For some reason he’s given me and absurd walking speed and a pretty good walking stamina that allows me to walk all over the world at a brisk pace.
He’s given me a strong spirit that can take a lot of hardship, yet has made my yoke light so that I have few, which allows me to take on the hardships of others, and friends and family who vent to me and come to me for advice so that I know of my gift.
He’s made me in such a way that I cannot stay angry or upset for very long not matter how hard I try and will always forgive or apologize at the end of a conflict.
He’s made me very differently from other people so that I cannot be of the world even if I try, because the world will always run from me.
He’s made me with an absurd natural blind faith that lets me believe and trust in him without any suspicion.
He’s made me with an intellect that can solve the problems of everyone.
and now I’m discovering that he’s given me some artistic talents like drawing and singing that I’m sure can be used for something good.
He’s made me with a strong will and self control which allows me to be careful with what I say but also be disciplined in stuff like buying extra food and not going along with peer pressure.
The list goes on and on and on and the more I think about it the more I realize that God designed me for this, to be what I am. I never realized it until a while before training camp where my friend at my youth group Chris gave me a word from God. Besides the first part about taking down my walls which is another blog in itself he told me that God designed me for this which I hadn’t even considered before. Thank you God for designing and crafting me so carefully thanks to you nothing can phase me anymore, but even still all these gifts pale in comparison to your power and your love, I know I can’t do anything without the provision you’ve given me and that my gifts are insufficient. All of the gifts are lesser than than the one of faith that I know I’ve had from the beginning. Reading the Bible I know God values faith more than any works or power, but it makes me wonder why I’ve just been given it from me birth when so many people have to go through a long painful process of finding it. Either way I’m really thankful for it.
