Well, currently I am sitting in the Bangkok International Airport in Thailand, soaking up my last few hours of wifi before we head to Africa for the next leg of our journey. As I’ve sat and prayed in the middle of the hundreds of people passing my by, I have been forced to reflect on what God has done in my life in recent months. As I’ve thought, these have been the biggest things that have stuck out! Enjoy!
1. God broke apathy in me.
For a long time, based on the things I’ve been through, I couldn’t feel, at least nothing deep. I was always the one to stay calm, cool, and collected, no matter the situation. I was always good at finding analytical solutions and reasoning my way through life. I never understood it when people would tell me about sobbing before the Lord, and I definitely didn’t understand when David and Jesus did. A month into the Race, I realized that having emotion wasn’t a personality thing, it was a God given gift…so I started praying for it. After a month, God answered my prayer and changed my perspective. I now walk in a new perspective and am better able to love because if of it.
2. God used us to love on, and share the gospel with Buddhist monks. Month 2, we had the idea of going into the Pagodas to spread the sweet love of Jesus to those who were entrenched in something entirely different. We knew that we would be entering a spiritual battleground where Satan had the upper hand, so before we dared even enter one of the Pagodas, we decided to spend a week researching and praying. We spoke scripture over each other and battled in the Spirit. But from the first moment we actually entered the Pagodas, the Lord’s favor was upon us. Since that moment, my teammates and I have been able to pour into, teach English to, and share the gospel with a handful of incredibly kind, Buddhist men. They have embraced the idea of Jesus with an open mind, and are eager to hear more. What began as a couple a white boys wandering around a foreign temple turned into true friends hanging out and discussing the most important things in life. It has been incredibly hard for me to say goodbye, but I know the future of the monks we have cultivated relationships with is in the Lord’s hands.
3. The Lord freed me from slavery to lust.
Vulnerability time, for as long as I’ve known the Lord, the biggest roadblock to intimacy with him has been lust. Be it glancing at a girl with less than a pure heart, or going to dangerous places on the web, I have felt chained to my own desire for years. No matter what I did to change it, no matter who I told to help, and no matter what blockers I put on my phone, I was never able to beat the addiction…until I went on the race. Over 3 months completely free now, and I can tell you that God is so good, and he is so faithful. And I can’t say that it was the actually world race journey, but just a seeking of the Lord I hadn’t done before. In Jermeiah 29:13, God promises us: “You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” I haven’t tried extra hard to change my actions, but merely by focusing on God, my actions have been changed, and my life is so much fuller because of it.
4. God showed me that his grace and mercy is found in his most difficult truths.
Those who are close to me probably know that about this time one year ago, I decided to venture through the Gospel of Matthew in depth, not letting a verse or word go by without examination. What I was left with was shock and terror. Some of the things Jesus said are wildly terrifying, at least from the world’s perspective. For example, in Matthew 19:21, Jesus told the rich young ruler: “If you want to be perfect, go and sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” Again, in Matthew 16:24, he says to his disciples: “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” In Luke 14:26 he even goes so far as to say “If you want to be my disciple, you must, by comparison, hate everyone else—your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple.” Wow, that’s some harsh stuff! Or is it? When we were trying to explain Christian meditation to our monk friends, we said that instead of emptying our minds altogether, we fill our minds with only the matters of the Lord, thereby clearing them of worldy matters. Our desire, then, can never lead to disappointment, because we can never lose Jesus. And I think that’s the point that Jesus is trying to drive home in these verses. If we place our trust and faith in Jesus, and Jesus alone, then nothing in the world can touch us. If we have no attachment to money, but trust in Jesus’ provision, it doesn’t matter if we lose a job or a house or anything else, we will be content. If we learn to carry our cross for Jesus, our suffering in sickness, injury and loss now has meaning, and we can endure. And, as my incredibly brave Team Leader Luke has shown me, even when you lose a parent, you can remain in God’s love, completely assured of his grace in your life. So go all in, trust Jesus’ word at face value, only then will everything make sense.
5. The Lord showed me that his Spirit still moves in love and power.
It was a couple weeks ago, and after getting locked out of the house, my teammate Christian and I decided to go on a prayer walk. Walking and praying, we listened for the prompting of the Holy Spirit. Going from person to person on the street, we stopped and told people about Jesus and prayed for them. We saw peoples faces change from frowns to smiles and had some good laughs. We were even able to love on some little beggar girls at the market. But at the end of all of it we were walking home when a man on a moto stopped right next to us. He began asking us about what we were doing in Cambodia, and asked us if we could volunteer at his free English school. He opened up with dozens of pictures of students and houses he had built for the poor and business he had help them start. Astonished, we asked him what his inspiration for all this was. He told us that he grew up very poor in Cambodia, and was raised and taught English by the monks in the Pagodas (close to our hearts). He then explained that ten years prior he had met Jesus and began living with a Pastor. He had since been chasing ministry after ministry in order to bring Kingdom in his own home. We asked him if we could pray for him, and he obliged. Encouraged, he told us that God had told him to come to that part of town and look for two foreigners on the street. Our meeting was literally a divine appointment. Saying goodbye, we got his info and shared it with our hosts. Since then, and before, God has moved again and again in similar ways. His Spirit has power, and I’m eager to see what he does with it in Africa!
So yeah, God is awesome. I’m so humbled to be a part of his mission in the world, and I want to learn to live in that every day. Apologies for the lack of consistency with blogging, I’ll get on it. Let me know your thoughts and ideas!
Also, we have been told that we will have very little access to internet in Ethiopia. That said, I still have just over $3000 to raise by January 15th. The Lord is placing me in a state of complete dependence on him and on ya’ll to get me through. So if any part of you wants to join me in this, pray about it and join. I have faith we will get there.
Thanks ya’ll. Peace be with you.
