I feel like I have been learning a lot this month, and it’s
not always easy to put it into words. I have been really trying to press in to
relationships with my teammates and others in the communities that we are
working in. I have also been pushing myself to be open to correction and
changes that I need to make to continue to become all that God wants me to be;
and also to just be open about what God’s working on in me and what I am
struggling with. Some days it’s harder than others, but it is definitely worth
all the frustrations and pain to build those deeper relationships.
Our squad leader, Brandy, stayed with us for the last week
we were in Istanbul. We had some good conversations and connected as fellow
“farm-girls” which was fun. I feel like she has a lot to offer and I am looking
forward to growing in my relationship with her in these next 6 months as well.
One of the conversations we had centered on what I would prefer in my future
life, as in where I want to live and what kind of a lifestyle would I want. I
didn’t really know how to answer that in the moment, but I took time to pray
about it the next morning during our prayer hour. God seemed to say to me that
it’s not about where I am or what I do as much as it’s about being content with
where God has me. He spoke to me that having joy in all circumstances leads to
contentment; and I have to say that the opposite is also true: when I am joyful
it is much easier to be content.
I realized that the people around me, whether it’s my kids
in the future, the kids I babysit, the kids I mentor, my siblings, and anyone
else who looks up to me or on whom my life makes an impact, will be affected by
my attitude in life. Their attitude will be a reflection of mine over time. I
also realized that in my own life I have to be careful of the influences I
allow in because it is so easy to allow myself to take on someone else’s
attitude without realizing it. I slowly become desensitized to something that
would have turned me off in the beginning. On the good side, I have realized
just how much my current attitude in life has been impacted by the Godly people
with whom I have chosen to surround myself in the last few years, and I have
made some specific choices that have led to where I am today.
All this to say that we all need to be careful of who is
being impacted by our lives and attitudes. God is full of grace and there is
always another chance; but I choose that today I am going to be joyful and
content with where God has me, even if I am sleeping in a hot tent and covered
in bug bites this month.
