Over the past two years, my life has changed so much you could literally look at different parts of this time and think you were looking at completely different lives. I’ve really struggled to put any of my true emotions and thoughts to paper because I didn’t understand them myself. I have no clue where to start, so bear with mean as I attempt to process this down onto paper.
In August of 2015, I moved into Currier Hall in Iowa City, Iowa to start my freshman year at the University of Iowa. It was exciting and it started off great, but the thrill wore off very quickly and before I knew it I was making phone calls home crying to my mom about how I wasn’t enjoying it. I didn’t see a purpose in school if I didn’t enjoy it and didn’t know what I wanted to major in. Long story, short – It just didn’t feel like that was where I was supposed to be. So I started exploring my options. I considered studying abroad, transferring, work studies…I looked into any opportunity I could find. That is when I came across the World Race, and I immediately knew that one day I would do it. I didn’t know when, or how, but I knew it was exactly what I had been looking for.
I pushed through the rest of the school year, then made my way to Detroit for a summer job. This job was crazy, difficult, amazing, frustrating, and the best thing I’ve ever done. I got to meet some amazing people and learn about how to deal with situations WAY out of my comfort zone. I loved being in a new city and being able to share with other young people about Jesus and serving the community alongside them.
When the summer was over I moved to Ames, Iowa in August of 2016 and started taking classes at the local community college. I was only 45 minutes away from my hometown, yet I had never felt so lonely in my whole life. I thought I knew what being lonely felt like after my freshman year at Iowa, but living in a city where I literally had no one took it to another level of lonely. On top of that, my living situation was on a fast decline. One of my other roommates and I decided to move out in December of 2016. I ended up back in my hometown, where I’ve been taking classes and working at a local athletic club. In retrospect, doing the one thing that I dreaded the most was the best decision I could have made. I didn’t want to move home, mostly due to the fact that I was afraid of judgment. For some reason, I had this idea that moving back equaled some sort of failure. But because of this decision, I have a support system close by. I have an amazing job that I am going to be very sad to leave for 9 months. I have a better understanding of what God was doing in my life for two years when I wanted so badly to be somewhere else.
Through this, I leaned on Jesus. Not as much as I could have, or should have. But looking back I have learned so much.
I was reminded that worrying about what other people think of me is a waste of my short time. I don’t always get this one right, but I take one day at a time.
I was reminded that my attitude is my choice, and a bad situation can be made good just by looking at the situation in a different light.
I learned the true power of a prayer.
I learned the importance of taking care of myself.
I learned to rejoice at the day of small beginnings.
I learned the true power of the cross.
I learned to accept forgiveness.
I learned that out of my pain comes God’s purpose.
I learned not to limit God to my imagination.
I learned to be satisfied in Him alone.
I’m a work in progress, and I’ve learned to accept that. I used to wish that I could’ve done the World Race two years ago right out of High School, but without all of the experiences I have had, I would not have the relationship with Christ that I do today. And I can’t imagine leaving for 9 months without His firm foundation, that I have now under my feet.
My goal, as I leave on the World Race and as a follower of Christ, is to be faithful and content in His plan for me. Anything else is a distraction away from my call to advance His kingdom.
